Can a Puppy Change your Life?
I've been going to a small writer's group in Canada and have been shy about writing new things. I've mostly been reading things I wrote several years ago. But the other night I couldn't sleep, and got up and wrote something about Juneau. I thought you might want to read it.
Slowing Down
Everything that slows us down and forces patience, everything that sets us back into the slow cycles of nature is a help. Gardening is an inducement of grace.
May Sarton, Journal of a Solitude
I'm sure that people roll their eyes when I speak a little too long or enthusiastically about the puppy who's come to share my life. They think "poor thing, she has no children and puts way too much energy into what's only, after all, just a dog." But what they don't know is that watching her grow, like gardening, is an inducement of grace.
Giving up my career because of illness has caused me to become way too focused on my self: my body, feelings, aches and pains. Curtailing my outside activities has drawn my attention inward, yet still I remain busy with the somewhat compressed details of life, planning and scheduling and directing my now limited energy on getting things done. Although I've spent a lot of time thinking through my priorities and trying to live a more focused, deliberate life and to put joy and meaning in each day, it's hard to remember all this when caught up in the minutia of what needs to be done. I often find myself spending too much of my precious energy and time on the unimportant and spending too many days without a clear memory of joy discovered along the way.
And then this small creature came into my life. It wasn't planned, but from the time I first heard the story about this brave little group of "orphan puppies" struggling to stay alive, I was entranced and quickly made room in my life, family and home for the puppy who came to be called Knightmute's Juneau Gift of Joy.
I'm not a gardener, but life with Junie provides the same effect of slowing me down and forcing patience. I've come to love the truly countless number of times I walk back and forth outside with her at the edge of the woods as she goes through the mysterious process of deciding where and when to relieve herself. I've always said that I love being in nature, but have spent more time in my beautiful yard in the last 6 weeks than I had done in the previous 14 years. How often do any of us stop what we're doing and walk outside to appreciate all that's there? I see the puppy react, drawing my attention to bird calls and other sounds that I stopped hearing years ago. I feel the wind when I see it's effect on her. I smell the scents in the air when I see her raise her focus to them. My attention is drawn to the weather conditions as we spend more time outdoors and see the much more direct effect that theyhave on daily activities. And I am constantly reminded of the delight of small things when I watch her play with a leaf or stick, her own tail or the water falling from the shower-head.
This little being was conceived less than 6 months ago, yet she has much to teach me. Her joy and curiosity are reflected in her sparkling eyes and array of facial expressions. I've rediscovered my own playfulness in sessions of fetch, play-fighting, and tug-of-war. I've seen familiar things in new ways as I search for objects and experiences that she can play with or learn from. And I remember the simple pleasures of hugs and snuggles and feel my heart warm when she looks at me and her face suddenly lights up with affection as she runs to me and throws herself onto my lap. Even my body is responding as it finds itself pushed into new positions and moving so much more than before. I find myself doing things, though simple, that I no longer believed I could. My imagination and creativity are exercised as I create games and songs to amuse her , and my sense of adventure has been re-kindled as I search for new experiences to share and try to see the every-day through her new eyes.
I have slowed down since Junie came to live with us. I accomplish much less and find it more difficult to answer my husband's daily question of "What did you do today?" I've become more patient as I deal with constant interruptions to my routine and clean up a endless array of messes and release her from various catastrophes and entanglements. Yet my days are so much more full and satisfying, and I find myself able to take the outlook and insights I'm gaining through caring for this puppy into other aspects of my life. I laugh aloud each day, and I welcome the re-entry of fun and playfulness into my life.
April 1, 2000