Note: I have taken this from a poster and is copywrited. Unfortunately I wasn't able to find the correct graphics.
I still hope that you enjoy reading it!
by Roosevelt
Don't be afraid to bite the hand that feeds you
Play with your food
Climb trees, especially Christmas trees
Always take center stage
Whenever you do something bad, be sure to make it appear as if the dog did it
Be aloof, cunning and regal
Trim your claws on the new furniture
Choose only the finest silk drapes for climbing
Don't let the words "No" or "Bad Kitty" deter you
Be sure to rub up against the allergic house guests
Unroll all the toilet paper
If you have light fur, choose the darker furniture and clothing to shed on (and vice versa)
Hide when someone breaks into the house
Don't bother knocking over the cheap knickknacks
Only eat the most expensive food
Don't ever be satisfied with being inside or outside
Have a little catnip now and then
Disappear every once in a while
Cough up fur balls when company comes
Scatter your kitty litter around
Look with disdain on everyone
Sleep all day and prowl all night
Shred any paper left out
Don't come when you're called
Take time to eat the flowers
Hog all the sunny places
Share your finest treasures - dead mice, birds, and snakes always bring a great reaction
Get underfoot whenever possible
Yowl for no reason
Lash out when you're stepped on
Play with the garbage when nobody's home
Stake out and claim your own chair
Nap on the warm, clean laundry
Cultivate your mood swings
Invite yourself onto the dinner table
Harbor no guilt
Sleep on your owner's chest
Pounce when they least expect it
Make them beg for affection
Any food left out is fair game
Wait expectantly by the birdbath
Don't be afraid to use your claws and hiss
Act surprised when you break things
Do not negotiate with mice
Condescend to sit on a lap now and then
Perch on furniture like a vulture
Swish your tail in others' faces
Do not tolerate puppies and kittens
Remember, everything belongs to you
Purr only to please yourself
Create and live in a world all your own
© 1994 American Arts & Graphics Inc.
Artwork and Concept by Gail Gastfield
This page is funny, but it's not her favorite. Keep looking
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Created: March 24, 1998 Updated: 6/15/99
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