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you tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair it takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets you walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea who these people are you can carry on a conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in your crotch you own a dog capable of pulling someone from a porta potty your dog can hide an entire tennis ball (among other things) fully inside his lips and give you that innocent look that says, "What? I'm not eating anything!" you carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle you keep at least one color-coded "drool towel" in every room of your house after banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you awake you are hiking with a friend who later suggests that you ought to have an environmental impact statement done on your dog visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively you toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on the top of the doorway you take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing you to make random right turns |
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