Well, after several weeks, and three failed attempts on the part of Nietzsche's former owner to make it to Lincoln with him, I finally drove to Fremont last night and picked him up. (Neat's former owner had maintained that since he comes to Lincoln often for work, he would be able to deliver Neat to me, but after three tries, with me sitting at home waiting, and him never showing up or calling, I gave up on that idea, and since my car was recently fixed, the hour drive to Fremont seemed like the best option.)

In case you don't already know, this is the little boy who was posted about a month ago or so. Then, I posted several weeks ago to let you all know he had found a new home, that being mine. Yes, it has taken this long for him to finally join me, and once I saw his condition, I kicked myself for waiting that long. What I thought would be an adoption turned out to be a rescue.

Nietzsche is a Marshall Farms albino boy, whom his former owner believes to be approx. two years old. He was allegedly giving Neat up because he no longer had time to play with him. I found out after arriving, that he had also moved to a no-pets apartment a month ago and had left Nietzsche in his old apartment with his "roommate" until he could find Neat a new home. This apartment turned out to be a couple rooms in the back of a body shop or something.

Neat was rarely let out of his cage, though fortunately, his cage was quite roomy. (That came with me as well.) He was filthy, grimy, gross. He was so dingy, his fur was approx. the color of your average grey/taupe computer box. He was wearing a collar which was so tight I couldn't unclip it without hurting him, so had to cut it off. There is no fur under his collar. His nails were very long, and several were broken. His ears were gross. Miraculously he has no parasites. He was skin and bones.

The hour ride home was pleasant. Nietzsche sat quietly in my lap, licking the occasional Furo-vite from my finger and enjoying my constant scritching on his neck where his collar had been. (A place where he hadn't gotten a good scratch in a LONG time.) Upon arriving at home, he got a good bath, his tail got Stridexed, his nails were clipped and his ears were cleaned. He looks much better now. I got the opportunity to chek his stool (a dubious honor) prior to bringing him inside my home, and that also looked quite normal.

I know I should have quarantined him, but I do lack the space, and I made it a point to look him over closely for parasites, etc. All of my kids need a vet visit soon for vaccinations, and I think I will bump it up to this week to get Nietzsche a good looking over. He is heartbreakingly timid, and spent the first hour after being cleaned up licking from the water bottle. I feed my guys Totally Ferret, but he was getting Ferret Diet. I put a bowl of each on the floor, and he went straight to the Totally Ferret. What a relief. We will have him fattened up and happy very soon. :-)

So that is how I spent my Monday night.

As I went downstairs to say hello to the fuzzies today, I was feeling guilty. Guilty because the new human addition to the Rotert family has been taking so much time, what with her being only a couple months old and all. I always had ferrets instead of children, and haven't quite got the hang of juggling time for both. Heck, I barely have the nack of juggling time for just my daughter.

So, the ferrets have been shorted on mommy time lately. I say hello every day, try to play a little, but they haven't gotten to come upstairs and have a really good romp in more than a week, and every time I thought about making sure they did, I then thought about picking up all the baby's toys, making sure she was fed and dry and happy so that I wouldn't have to attend to her while they were playing, etc. It made me even more tired than I already was.

Well, yesterday when I payed my daily visit, Nietzsche came to me and played and rolled over, kissed my hand, tried to escape, asked to be picked up, kissed my nose and settled into my lap while I played with and talked to the others. I thought to myself that I had better make sure to bring them upstairs to play, because Nietzsche has been heading downhill now for about a year, and for some reason my brain was telling me it might be his last chance.

Today when I went down to get them, having finally cleaned up enough and gotten Katherine settled in for some playtime in her bouncy chair, I found him, curled up as though asleep, but gone. My heart is broken, yet again. And I feel guilty.

Nietzsche was sick. The vet said he had too many things wrong to make treating any of them viable options, and that he was a poor candidate for surgery in any event. He advised me to make Nietzsche happy and comfortable and to wait until his quality of life suffered and help him along. That is what I was doing. Only Nietzsche didn't cooperate. His health was obviously declining, his body giving in to the illnesses. But his happy spirit danced perpetually. He never acted as though he was in pain, he never suffered. He played, danced, rolled, hopped into and off of things until he decided to go himself.

This boy, who I rescued from a joyless life, who I vowed would never be neglected or mistreated again. When I met him he was living by himself in a small cage, with only an old drunk and a large dog as friends. His owner had moved out a month earlier, and left him there until he could find a home. His roommate, who fondly refered to Nietzsche as "a red-eyed polecat", proudly told me he checked on Nietzsche daily, giving him food and water when he needed it. Nietzsche didn't leave the cage. He was so covered with dirt and who knows what else that by the time we got him home, my hands itched. His collar was on so tight that I had to cut it off, and there was no hair underneath. He always had an orange ring around his neck, he never was quite able to get rid of that scar. This boy, who I love so much, and who I feel I failed somehow, is gone.

I know he knew I love him. I know his life was made better by knowing me, and mine by knowing him. I hope he has forgiven me my shortcomings and knows that he may have left without my attention, but never without my love.

Nietzsche,
Tasha, Booboo and Cael await you at the Bridge.

And now we are four.

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