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February 20, 1998
The Ferrari Incident
The Blonde and the Thermos
A hip young man goes out and buys a 1997 Ferrari GTO. It is the best and most expensive car available in the world, costing about $500,000. He takes it out for a spin and while stopping for a red light, a man on a moped pulls up next to him. The man looks over from his moped to the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there?"
The young man replies, "A 1997 Ferrari GTO. They cost about a half million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the other man increduously. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.
The moped driver asks if he can take a look inside, and the owner agrees. So he pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, he says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"
Just then the light changes so the guy decides to show the moped guy what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rearview mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoooossshhh! Something whips by him, going much faster! "What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?!" the young man asks himself.
Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whoooooosh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And it almost looked like the guy on the moped! "Couldn't be," he thinks. "How could a moped outrun a Ferrari?!" Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror! Whooooosh... Ka-BbblaMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end.
The young man jumps out, and it IS the other man!!! Of course, both the man and the moped are hurting for certain. Ferrari-boy runs up to the dying man and says, "You're badly hurt! Is there anything I can do for you?"
The man moans and replies, "Yes. Unhook my suspenders from your side-view mirror!"
The Blonde & the Thermos
A blonde walked into a novelty store. She saw a shiny thermos and asked the clerk what it was. The clerk said, "It's a thermos. It keeps cold things cold and hot things hot." The blonde was so impressed, she bought one. She got home, and could not wait to show off her new thermos to her co-workers. She walked into work the next day, and it was not long before one of her peers asked what that shiny thing was. The blonde said, "It's a thermos. It keeps cold things cold and hot things hot." Her co-worker asked, "Well, what do you have in it now?" The blonde proudly announced, "Two Popsicles and a cup of coffee."
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