February 19, 1998
Things to do While Downloading
Buff your mouse pad
Make a list of things to download
Play a percussive beat on your thighs in time with your modem
Count to 500 in "click" language
Go outside and actually breathe fresh air (don't overdo!)
Do a pushup for every blue bar on the progress meter
11% DONE!
Name the presidents
Play "Dark Side Of the Moon" side one
Relace your shoes
Read every classified listing for "programmers"
Carefully clean your mouse rollers and track ball
Hone your monitor's picture to ridiculous perfection
23% DONE!
Fill out all your registration cards in triplicate
Alphabetize your diskettes
Alphabetize your CD-ROMs
Re-alphabetize your diskettes and CD-ROMs together
32% DONE!
Cut your fingernails
See how many words you can make from "download"
Make a sculpture out of your fingernail clippings
Play "Dark Side Of the Moon" side two
Time to windex that monitor again!
42% DONE!
Might as well balance the old checkbook
Practice the "rubber pencil" routine
Weed out the rolodex
Buff the mouse pad -- oops,already did that!
French Braid (optional)
52% DONE!
"This would be a good time to register your software" (done that!)
Re-kid proof the butane lighter
Solitaire
Solitaire round 2
Solitaire round 3 (no cheating this time)
65% DONE!
Think of good domain names to pre-buy
Persue the Egghead mailer again
67% DONE!
RE-label file folders in all caps
Penny rolls, Penny rolls, penny rolls
73% DONE!
Color code your extra cables
78% DONE!
Find all celebrities that share your birthdate
83% DONE!
Nerf basketball to 100!
94% DONE!
100 situps
98% DONE!
Get ready.....
Connection Terminated - Start over!
Find a pistol.....
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