STEP 2: GET INTO SHAPE  
(IF YOU AREN'T ALREADY) 
 
Before going in the ocean to try and 
surf your first time, you'll have to  
practice getting to your feet on 
the ground. 
 
The object is to land with your gravity centered over your imaginary board. Don't let either foot have more weight on it when you land. Immediately after you've landed on your feet, lean forward, which helps you drop into the wave. Longboarders always have lots of hair, 
so 
if you're a guy, grow a beard; 
if you're a girl, grow your armpit hair 
as long as you can.  

The other thing you'll have to do is exercise. Find a community pool. They're usually about $1 a swim, much cheaper and less annoying than fancy health clubs. Swim laps for an hour, do 30 sit-ups, and 25-50 push ups every day for three weeks.  

If you're a vegetarian, forget about that. You'll have to eat a lot of meat and other good foods including: steaks, chickens, fish, pork, broccoli, carrots, corn, and whiskey. It's also advised to drink three or four gallons of ocean water per day during this period to prepare yourself for the pain you will encounter. The first several times you paddle out, you'll be swallowing a lot of water when you get worked. After three weeks of this, you'll be ready to paddle out for the first time. 

 
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