| Paddle all the way
out past the breaking waves, then sit on your board and wait for a wave.
When you see a wave coming, turn the board toward shore by making clockwise
circles with both feet. Then lie down and paddle until you feel the board
catching the wave. Aim the board straight toward shore and try to stand
up. It will probably take you all day to stand up once. Most people get
tired after about 45 minutes, but you'll be in shape after all that training-table
corn and whiskey, so you should be able to get to your feet after falling
a couple hundred times. If you can swim, the waves are small, and there's
a sand bottom, the ocean can't really hurt you.
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