A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised, says, "Yes....how did you figure that out?"
"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they are done, the girl says, "You must be a very good dentist!" The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, how did you figure that out?"
"Didn't feel a thing!" "

Jill goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Jill walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. "Have you ever tried Alka-Seltzer?"