Part II
Sameepya Mukti
"You have not only become a citizen of the city of the Moksha, but also get a job in the palace which is established at the centre. So you are very near to the Master, who is God Himself; hence you are now in a state of developing in yourself the divine characteristics. This state of spirituality is called Sameepya Mukti."
"In Saalokya Mukti one sees God in his inner eye and is always within the Kingdom of God. In addition to this, if one is always with God and if he realised all that he sees, as the glory of the Lord, this experience is referred as Sameepya Mukti."
--- 'Prema Vahini'
--Sri Sathya Sai Baba
1
PARTHEESWARA --- THE UNIVERSAL MASTER
Those who are born in the present time are fortunate. There are crores of Sai devotees in the world, but everybody’s experience differs from that of another's. When you begin to believe in Sai, the next moment you will realise that you have entered a pleasant boundary. From the very day of the creation of this world so many Avatars have incarnated, but which one was outstanding like this Sai Avatar, so that every one can experience His intimacy and divinity? If you turn the pages of religious scriptures, you will find that only a few have experienced it. Not only the Indians but people of other countries also consider Sai Baba as their own saviour. Sofar no other Avatar has been accepted unanimously as the World Master except Sai Baba. Countless people all over the world sing Sai Baba’s glories. Is it possible to render these glories into writing? Perhaps if God Vinayaka comes forward to write, if the sea water is converted into ink and if the broad sky is brought as a paper, it may be written. One can find out that all of them experience Sathya (Truth) and as a result of it they enjoy bliss which is the other side of Sathya.
Swami has done far greater deeds than other Avatars. It can be called as the revolution of the age, that is He has converted Kali yuga into Dwapara yuga. It has been said in Gita, "Paritranaaya Sadhunaam Vinasayacha Dushkrudam" Baba acts according to this sloka (Verse) and has established the Dharma (righteousness). No Avatar has corrected the bad people without destroying them except Baba. World has seen so many revolutions, but not this type of non-violent spiritual revolution sofar.
Rama Rajyam (Kingdom of Lord Rama) was only in this country, and that too in the Tretha Yuga; but Sai Rajyam is throughout the world now. He takes this whole world to Paradise. This Avatar is not an Amsa Avatar (Partial Incarnation) but Poorna Avatar. (It has all the aspects). He is the Emperor of all the fourteen worlds (7 upper worlds + 7 lower worlds = 14). He is Sarva Devatha Swarupam. Rajarishis are waiting for the darshan of Vishnu. Such a Supreme Soul has incarnated as an ordinary human being in the form of Sai Sathya Sai at Puttaparthi. How can one adore His compassion? When mystics and Siranjeevis (long lived persons) wait at Vaikuntam for a moment's darshan of Bhagwan, here Baba is giving darshan to thousands of people every day.
Among all the four yugas, Kali yuga is the best to experience the divine play (leelas) and we have now got that rare chance. Only a few knew Rama and Krishna as God, but today the whole world, knowing Sai as an all pervading Soul, gathers at His feet. The good deeds which were done in our hundreds of previous births have shown us His identity. Let us enjoy this broad-minded Soul (Avatar) in our meditation. His liberality flows towards as all human beings. In one of my songs, I have written this on Swami:
"I am not Indra to experience Your splendor with eyes!
I am not Anandan to adore Your glory with thousand tongues!
I am not Kartha Veerya to prostrate at Your lotus feet with thousand hands!
I am born only as an ordinary mortal in this dark world!"
Though we undergo sufferings due to the Karmas of previous lives, He saves us from its severeness. Not showing the characteristics of the Lord outside, He always showers His love. Even the love of all mothers of the world cannot be equal to His genuine and fathomless prema. You can squeeze the love of all mothers, but even then it can not be equal to the prema of this present Avatar?
2
SANDAL SMELL
I read this in the book entitled ‘Two Spiritual Starlike Travellers’; "When Indra Devi touched Krishna, sometimes sandal smell would come from her hands."
"Swami! I too touch Krishna daily, but no smell comes from my hands". I regretted, cried and said like this to Swami on 24 January, 1997. Swami did not reply. On 25.1.97, I, G.V., and J.V.K. gathered at Paramakudi, and on 26.1.97, we attended Samiti Bhajan. After Aarati, when they gave vibhuti, Dr.’s wife suddenly asked me, "Madam, did you put sandal on your forehead?" Then the Dr. came there, I told about the above sandal incident. At once the Dr. told that Swami had come to put that sandal.
Later Swami Himself admitted that it was He who had put the sandal. Before I started for Paramakudi, I was crying to get the sandal; now His grace bestowed what I had wanted. The smell of that sandal was marvellous - a rare smell.
I went to Puttaparthi to attend Swami’s 70th birthday with Sevadal members. Erramma and myself were on Night Security Duty. Then Day Duty Sevadal (volunteers) arrived. When we were about to depart, Erramma reminded me about my puja room Paduka from which Vibhuti, saffron, sandal would appear. Next moment all of them felt a very sweet smell of sandal.
I had the very same experience when I was at the residence of Ramachandran. When I narrated my experience at his puja room the smell of Vibuthi and sandal was coming for hours together.
It was Swami who induced me to write about this sandal incident. Only by the guidance of Swami I arranged these incidents in order that they had been recorded by me daily. I know not how I am going to recompensate to Swami for His grace except by submitting my gratitude to Him.
3
I.S.I. SEAL BY SWAMI
Eramma prayed earnestly on 1 February, 1997. "Swami! As a sign of beinf your devotee kindly put a state mark on the palm of Vasantha only. If you accept us also as your devotees, why can’t You show the same sign to me too?"
At once a voice was heard by her from the heart, "I have told your name at Vadakkampatti. Is this not enough? What better sign do you expect than this?" Swami has spoken many times to Erramma like this; very often she gets Swami’s darshan also.
O! How great our Swami is! It is Swami who helps me and gives evidences to write this book. What is the meaning for His reply that He had told her name at Vadakkampatti?
It means that those names which appear in this book are staunch devotees, approved devotees of Swami. That is, they had been given I.S.I. seal by Swami.
This book consists of not only my experience, but also the experiences of Sai's I.S.I. devotees. I may start anywhere to draw a circle, but that circle would be completed only by these devotees.
4
SWAMI’S PROMISE
On 14 April, 1996 all of a sudden a strange a thought came to me, "Whether I will forget Swami? If a time comes like that what shall I do? Swami, You can take my life itself but don’t allow me to forget You". I regretted very much with these pinching thoughts.
Swami appeared in my vision and said to Me as under :
Swami : "The sea may overflow and destroy the whole world. The sun may rise in other direction. But I won’t allow you to forget me. I won’t leave you on any account. Don’t cry. What I say is truth."
Saying this, Swami put his hand on my head.
Vasantha : If what I saw is true, kindly give me vibhuti".
At once vibhuthi appeared on the padukas. Then I switched on the T.V. It was singing the following song from the film ‘Krishna udanga’.
"Is it an eye that sees you not,
Is it a heart that thinks of you not?"
"I am not without you; you are half, myself is another half; if any one goes away, what remains nothing but grief?"
Indeed, it is a suitable song from Prasanthi T.V. All the above things are in my daily diary from which I have selected the most important incidents and compiled them in this book.
5
VADAKKAMPATTI & PUTTAPARTHI ARE NOT DIFFERENT
I did not sleep the whole night on 26.10.96 with the thought of Swami and I was weeping and wailing.
Vasantha: "Swami, You forget me on many occasions."
Swami: I never, not even for a winking moment, depart from you. I stay here longer than at Puttaparthi.
Vasantha: Swami! are You with me just like Pandharinath was with Eknath? In that case some devotee will find out this place and come here.
Swami: Whoever believes in My presence here and comes here will have My blessings and grace. The peace of Puttaparthi will be available here also. Vadakkampatti and Puttaparthi are not different. Both are one and the same. This is true.
Vasantha: O! Lord! There is no limit of your compassion.
When I told to J.V.K. about this, he narrated a parallel incident to me :
"An old Brahmin lady of Karukurichi, a small village around Tirunnaveli (V.O.C. District), collected flowers and did puja to Swami. There also leelas like the fall of vibhuti and saffron etc., take place. Those who are not able to go to Parthi to attend Swami’s Birth day, gather at Karukurichi. Swami calls the residence of this old lady as ‘Kutty’ (small) Puttaparthi.
J.V.K. told me a lot of parallel incidents like this. He had read a lot about Swami.
6
I WILL NOT ABANDON YOU
One day I received a letter from Ramachandran Virudunagar inviting me to participate in Mother Eswaramma’s Day Function. But I did not get any company to go to Virudunagar. I sat for my mid-day meditation. Then I thought, "What is Eswaramma’s day? It is the day of her death. How did she die?"
When I sat with the above thoughts, I saw a vision. Eswaramma was sitting in the varendah of White-field. Swami was going to take bath. Swami went crossing His mother. Within a few minutes, mother called (cried) "Swami! Swami! and Swami came, saying, "Lo! I have come, ma!" Then mother’s life (soul) departed from the body. Swami knew pretty well that His mother’s soul would be departing. Then why was He not near her? Why did He go to bathroom? Only to test whether she thought about the Lord at her last breath. When the above thought came to me I got disturbed. How can I believe that Baba who had tested His mother herself, would not behave in the same manner with me?
"Swami! O alluring magic Lord! Don't do such magics with me. Don’t test me like this. Please promise to me atonce that You would be with me. When my soul departs, it should pronounce Your name only, otherwise take away my life now itself." I wrote a letter like this and after posting it, I wept and wailed. At once Vibhuti and saffron came out bursting from the God's altar, and it was covered with sacred saffron without interruption. At the same hour vibhuthi had come from Ramachandran’s puja room also for the first time.
That is why Alwar sang like this :
"I may not think of you at that time of my death.
So I say these words now itself when I am hale and healthy".
It is not important how we were born, but how we will die.
Gandhiji said, "Even if a man, who stands before me, kills me I should not hate him. I should die chanting Rama’s name, then only I will be a Mahatma (superior soul)". Everyone should prepare himself for such a noble death.
If you take one step towards God, He will take 10 steps towards you?. This gospel is a truth. It shows as to what one should ask from Swami and also know how to ask. Where is Vadakkampatti? Where is Vaikuntham? (The abode of Lord Vishnu). Vadakkampatti is a very small village in a remote corner of South India. The voice of Vadakkampatti was heard at Vaikuntham and was replied also. O, what a grace! what a grace! Then the Lord came running to the roar of an elephant which called "O Primal Source!" Today the same Lord has come in the form of Sathya Sai and He has promised to protect me at the time of my death. What recompensation can be done by a poor soul like me for His divine grace?
In Dwapara age Krishna protected Draupadi; now He comes forward to protect us all from Puttaparthi as Sai Baba.
Whatever may be the Yuga, whether it is Dwapara or Kali yuga, if you behave and call in a proper way, that great divine soul would come running to help you.
7
MYSTIC POWER
I was going through an article titled ‘Kurai Onrumillai Govinda’ (Govinda - No Demerit) in Kalki, a weekly magazine. The following sentences I read in it :
"One can attain the highest Gathi (position) whether he is a good soul or a bad soul, only when he associates with Acharya (Preceptor). A way-side robber became Valmiki only by the advice of Narada. Mahabali was fortunate because of his Guru (Master) Sukracharya. Pundreek had numerous darshans because of Narada. Only those who attained mystic power alone can bestow such benefits."
Then a question arose in my mind : "Is it my steady spiritual sadhana or my association with saints and sages. which gave me the present devotional status?" It is true that in my meditation I had the acquaintance of Agastya Rishi, Mother Sarada Devi, Sri Paramahamsa, Vivekananda, Vishwamitra, Bharadwaja, the great seer Aurobind, Paramacharya of Kanchi Kamakodi Peetam, Sri Jayendra, and the young acharyas. It is also true that Narada Maharishi wrote mantra on my tongue. But the fact is that I became part and parcel of Bhagavan Baba. It is Sai’s grace that made those saints to meet me.
Once G.V. wrote to me, "When one is in the highest state of spirituality, saints and seers would come forward to help him." This is the correct answer for the above question. My life is a crystal clear example of the above sentences of that letter. Mr. G.V. is one among such jnanis (wise men) and also my Guru. To confirm the above incident, Ganges water came from Bhagavan’s Paduka.
8
HERE IS A GOPI
One day a letter came from G.V.; another letter was enclosed with G.V.’s letter. The contents of the letter were the following.
"A Gopi called Swarnamali came to my hose and told me that she wanted to write a letter to you (Vasantha). The content of Gopi’s letter is given below. "Since you had been with us at Gokulam, myself and Sri Krishna would be visiting your residence on 29.5.95."
After preparing Kesari rice, I did my puja and meditation on 29.5.95. Swarnamalika and Krishna appeared before me. Her body’s colour was red mixed with rose. She was more beautiful than the Kashmiri girls. Her feet were soft and gentle and her body was well-built like a chiselled statue and the ornaments worn by her added grace to her beauty. She said, "Everyone at Gokulam talks about you."
"When all of you are living with Krishna, why was I alone born here and have to suffer with the thought of separation from Krishna?" Asked I.
"Since Krishna Himself is born here you too have taken birth here, and enjoy His blessings". They blessed me like this. Then they ate Kesari (yellow coloured rice) and disappeared. Then as a symbol of blessings vibhuti and saffron came from the padukas.
Dear readers! Now you may ask, how these people contacted G.V. Now let us see an example for this. Ra Ganapathi in his book "Two Spiritual Starlike Travellers" has given the following details :
"Meera’s soul has entered the body of Indradevi (A staunch Sai devotee) and Indradevi sang over 800 Bhajan songs like Meera herself. When Meera enters Indra Devi, what difficulty is there for Andal? Tulsi and Gopis talk with G.V. When a thing is possible for one man, it is possible for others also. When we take one thing as true, we must take the parallel thing also as true.
On one occasion Meera saw a ghost. The ghost roared and frightened Meera. At the same time to protect Indra Devi from the ghost, the soul of Meera sang Bhajans and danced. It may be difficult to believe both these incidents. In the same way, when God or His messenger comes to help somebody, the world may not believe it so easily. This is a strange contradiction found in the humanity in general. The above incident ends with the following golden saying : "Miracles are blessing to devotees; to doubt blessing is a sin."
I think readers would believe such miracles atleast after reading the above things. Dr. also had received the letter from the same Gopika ‘Swarnamalika’. First, deities came through G.V. Then they began to come directly to bless me. Though saints, sages, seers and deities came to bless me, without believing them I have made Swami to stand in the witness box very often, I have doubted Swami more than 1000 times. After all, I am also an ordinary human being. Even then that great liberal soul Sai would clear my doubts with such affection. How fortunate am I? Is He not God himself!
No Avatar has come forward to help mankind so much like Sai Baba Himself who exposes His divinity to every individual either in dream or in meditation or directly and makes him or her steady. What penance did we do? What sadhana did we do? Here we read sacred scriptures. When compared with saints and seers, we are all mere particles of dust. Swami’s compassion makes us fully qualified. How great Swami’s grace is?
If we just turn to His side, He will come running towards us. I call upon dwellers of the whole world to surrender at His feet.
9
Pushpak Viman
On 19.12.96 Swami took me to higher spirituality region. There He showed me different scenes. "This is the golden plane of Gods (Devas)" said Swami. It was a beautiful, luminating city. Devas (Celestial Beings) were coming and going. But we did not enter the city.
There was a beautiful grove. Swami was sitting on a stage. I sat at His holy feet. Beautiful peacocks danced, spreading their feathers. Attractive antelopes (dotted deer) came running near Swami. Birds sang melodious songs. Trees showered flowers upon Swami.
Vasantha:Human beings have not understood You sofar Swami! But these deer, trees and peacocks have found You out as God of Gods. So they are near and dear to you.
Swawi : Lower creatures also have sharp, subtle knowledge. They are attracted by the prema of God. They also shower their prema."
On 11 February, 1996 also I had the Pushpak Viman vision. From there Swami sang a song showing higher planes. But I don’t remember that song now.
How fortunate am I to be near Swami and enjoy His grace!
10
I AM IN YOU, YOU ARE IN ME
One day when I was offering Idly to Swami, I said: "Swami daily I offer something to You with such affection. But you have not eaten it even on a single day", said I with a melting heart.
Swami : "Daily I eat through you with such enthusiasm. You and I are only one. I state like this, so that you may know your true self and attain it. You are Radha, Meera, Andal. Forgetting your status you weep unceasingly."
Vasantha : "Your separation is unbearable, Swami!"
Swami : "No question of separation. Here I have merged with you and you have merged with Me".
I challenged G.V. on 10.03.96, "I will talk to Swami like you or I will make Swami to talk with me." Ten days passed, no sign of speaking appeared. I wailed incessantly without sleeping. At 12.30 A.M. on 10 March, 1996 Swami gave darshan and wiped my tears.
Swami : "O my dear devotional wealth! See here; I will make you butter and swallow. Now you have merged into My whole body."
By this great bliss, I forget all my sufferings that I had undergone till then. Swami had talked with me for the first time. It was a golden day in my life. By weeping daily I achieved my goal, I had made Swami talk to me.
Mahabharatham serial was going on 13 March, 1996 morning on Doordarshan. I prayed Swami that some one should discuss about the butter in this Mahabharatham. The scene was battle-field, Bhisma was lying on the bed of arrows. Sri Krishna came with Pandavas to see Bhishma. I was very eager to know as to who was going to talk about the butter.
Bhishma : "O Kesava! O son of Nanda! If you had spared a little butter of Gokula to me, I would have attained liberation already".
Filled with joy I shouted, "Krishna! Krishna!! It is true that You made me butter and swallowed it."
What a nice proof! I bathed Swami with blissful tears.
Swami asked me to write about this butter incident to the Dr. on 16.3.96, It was 10.30. A.M. when I wrote the letter. I wanted one more T.V. proof for this before writing, because a question arose in me whether it was Swami’s voice or my own assumption? Sun T.V. Channel was running. Hero : "What is the answer to my question?" The villain Numbiar on the other side of the phone answered. "Yes, O.K." O! what a suitable evidence. Prashanti T.V. is indeed Prashanthi. Then I wrote about the above incident in detail to the doctor.
11
WHO IS LUNATIC?
I had a vision in my meditation on 4 June, 1996. The great sage Agasthya and his wife Lopamutra appeared before me. At the first sight, their figures were dim, gradually they became clear and I found that he was Agasthya. He was having a Kamandalu with Ganges water (or may be Kaveri water). The great sage sprinkled water over me.
Agasthya : "What do you want? Ask something."
Vasantha : "Swami! my love to God should not be reduced, not even to the extent of needle point. I should shower more and more love to make God respond to my yearning. For the past 35 years I yearn, aspire and cry for God. God should also aspire for me and become mad after me. Then only He will understand my sufferings."
Agasthya : "Let it be so".
He gave this boon and disappeared.
I requested Swami to materialise vibhuti to prove the above darshan. Vibhuti appeared from Rama’s picture. I wanted one more proof from Swami’s book Chinnakatha, When I opened it, the following was found on page no. 195:
"The big temple at Kalahasti was constructed by Agasthya with the help of Bharadwaja according to ‘Aagama’ rules (Divine scripts)".
What a suitable line! O Lord! Let me thank You again and again with whole-hearted bliss.
"Swami, uncontrollable love bursts out from me towards You; it is unbearable. Kindly control it to some extent". I prayed with tears.
Swami : ‘Don’t get such a boon from anybody else. Be calm; control yourself; then everything will be alright".
What sort of madness is this? I want more devotion towards saints and seers. At the same time, I request Swami to reduce my devotion. It is indeed a strange contradiction. Readers may think that not having enough physical stamina to bear the overflowing prema for God, I am talking like this.
Whenever I switch on T.V., I will ask some one to mention the title of the film and note it down in my diary, as I don’t have the habit of seeing film or T.V. I had written only the above incident. Later I came to know that the film was ‘Nawab’s Chair’.
On one more occasion I had the vision of sage Agastya. At the same time a conversation between S.S. Chandran and C.B.E. Sarala was also going on in the T.V. Let us say that "This Kamandalu (Water vessel of religious man) belongs to saint Agasthya’s period. He puts all the waters of Kaveri in this vessel. Bluffing like this, let us sell this Kamandalu for a big amount". During the conversation, Kamandalu occupied the whole screen of the T.V. I heard the above conversation when I was writing about the Agasthya scene to Mr. G.V. and Dr.
On another occasion Swami said to me : "Your explanation of Madhura Bhavam is very correct. Having made yourself mad, you have made Me also mad. This is the peak of Madhura Bhavam. This yoga is called ‘Madhura yoga’; nobody can get this."
When, I wrote about this madness of both Swami and myself on 16 August 1996, a man was saying to a woman in a T.V. programme : "I would like Vasantha coffee. I would like Vasantha Ragam (tune) and so on." At once I stopped my writing and asked my daughter-in-law "What film is going on?" She told me that it was a scene from the film ‘Vasantha Ragam’.
There are so many channels like Raj T.V. Sun T.V.; but our T.V. has been named by the Dr. as "Prasanthi T.V." Oh! how wonderfully this name suits our T.V.!
Whenever I am in a happier mood I sing the following two lines :
"Like a bee that swarms over the jasmine flower,
Your love poured upon me makes me play with truth!!"
I wonder at Swami’s prema and sing the above two lines again and again. I sang the whole day the above lines, dissolving myself in love. On that evening at 6.10 P.M. I was singing that song, while preparing Dosa (a South Indian rice eatable). The same song was being sung by Sivaji and Padmini (Hero and Heroine). Not only that, immediately vibhuti and holy water and white clay appeared from the padukas.
One who reads this chapter may ask whether Swami would even call Himself a mad one for the sake of an ordinary devotee. I too had thought that by this Swami’s divinity might be diminished and the glory of this Supreme Soul might be polluted. For this reason I feared very much to write this book. I got the boon from Agastya Rishi when I was in a divine craving mood, not even thinking of my own glory, only for my mental satisfaction. Swami plays the leela as if He is mad after me.
This very same God, in the battle-field of Kurushetra, carried the foot-wear of Draupadi to get her a boon from Bhishma. Did Panduranga not serve Eknath for 12 years? Was He not tied to a pillar by Sakkubai and did He not do the household duties? Did He not mix the mud and make pots for the sake of Kora Kumbha? When the Lord carried the foot-wear even for the sake of a devotee, what else He will not do? Because of all these things, whether His divinity was ever diminished? Whether His name and fame were ever degraded?
In the same manner, Sai Baba also does anything for the sake of His devotees. He considers the happiness of the devotee as His own and nothing else. So He does not care whether one adores Him or not and whether His name will be sullied or not.
R. Ganapathi writes the following in his book ‘Swami’:
Narada seeing Krishna, living as an ordinary human being, at Dwarka, thinks whether the Lord has forgotten His glory itself. Then knowing the mental thinking of Narada, Krishna gave the following explanation :
"Narada! I want my life and righteousness to be an example to humanity. That is why I have come in this form. It is one of the aspects of divinity. I feel happy in shrinking myself into an ordinary man. By seeing this human form, don’t feel sorrow. I realise My divinity, at the same time I rejoice at the demerits of My human form. Not only that, as said in Gita, I act as if I am having certain demerits and confusing these people.
I cover myself with yoga maya (illusion) so that they may not understand My reality. Is it not a sacrifice that the Absolute One is acting like a demeritted man to remove our demerits?"
I do not have the research mentality like Ra Ganapathi. I have not written any book sofar. When I began to write my experiences at the end of my daily writing, I used to pray. "Swami! I hesitate again and again to write this book. Is it correct?" Then I would open any book wherein I would get a suitable evidence in support of it. I got all my evidences in this way only.
Dr., G.V. and J.V.K. had then thought that it would take 3 months to complete this book. I started writing this book on 30 January 1997 and completed it on 11 February, 1997. How is it possible to write a book within a very short period of just 11 days. I shouted with joy, "Swami! Swami!! Swami!!!"
When I wrote this, it was 7.30 P.M. on 11 February, 1997. A serial in T.V. with the title ‘Maale Manivanna’ was going on, in which the first three Alwars met at Thiruchuli, Krishna standing among them was finding Himself tightly jammed.
Narayana leaves Vaikuntham for the sake of His devotees, and feels happy to be jammed among them and makes them also happy. In the same way, this great Lord Sathya Sai also acts shrinking Himself into an ordinary man.
12
FOOTPRINTS ON THE PADUKAS
The date 23 November, 1992 was a golden day in my life because Swami’s padukas, which had been carried on the head of King Bharatha and placed on the head of Emperor Bali, were installed in my puja room on that day. Out of the 1008 padukas mine was the 18th paduka. 18 is considered to be a holy number. I think you know that the Gita has 18 chapters and Puranas are 18 in number. How fortunate am I to have this 18th paduka. I was very much satisfied as if the goal of my life had been achieved. Daily I give holy bath to the padukas happily and offer puja to them. But bathing Sai padukas should not be mechanical one. It has to be done whole-heartedly.
A lady by name Nagamani Buoy used to clean Swami’s feet with water whenever Swami returned home in His very young age. If you look at padukas from this point of view you would devote yourself very much in bathing padukas. Before you bathe them, you should think like this, "We are bathing padukas which have walked over all the nooks and corners of the world to save so many suffering souls."
I have seen many times Narayana (God) Himself standing on the padukas with His Sankh (conch) and Chakra (wheel). Every day when I give holy bath to Swami’s padukas I see Swami standing on it, lifting His long choga slightly.
Since Swami has used these padukas many times like this, one can see finger prints in the front and heal prints at the back of them. I am overwhelmed with joy when I see these prints. These prints were not discovered by our family members. A group of devotees came from Madurai and they saw the footprints for the first time. Afterwards, that news spread over other areas also and many devotees and others came, saw them and wondered.
13
STAR MARK ON MY PALM
I was reading page no. 28 of Swami Maheswara nandji's book ‘Nara Narayana (Gufa) Ashram and Sai Leela’ in which I saw the following lines :
"Very often you tell yourself that you are a Sai devotee. But have you ever thought that whether Baba has accepted you as His devotee? Or have you ever taken steps at least to know about it?
Star near Heart Line on my palm
After reading this, I recalled an incident that took place in my life. On one occasion I asked for this boon, "Swami! If you have accepted me as your devotee, please create a star mark in my palm. You had shown rainbow to Joel couple in the sky at noon, when the sun was scorching like anything". After praying like this, whenever I found time I would look at my palm from morning to night to find out whether there was any star mark. But no star mark was found for a long period. I was yearning and aspiring unceasingly for the mark. I did not know what Swami’s judgement would he regarding this. Until I knew the judgement, how could I remain calm? I considered this judgement as my life and death problem. So I kept on wailing and weeping, yearning and aspiring.
My life’s aim was to see Krishna face to face through devotion. I was living for this purpose alone. After three days of severe spiritual struggle, that miracle did happened on 14th October, 1986 on my right palm; not one but two star marks had appeared. At once I sang and danced. The Lord had bestowed upon me two instead of one mark. Is there any limit to His compassion?
Even after 11 years, still there is one star mark, the other one has disappeared. One day when I was weeping continuously, not doing anything, with the thought of God, Swami came. He saw my palm lines and said, "Those who have these lines will see even invisible things, and hear unheard matters and speak what they had not spoken so far. The Master of the world is within these lines".
I opened Gita to have a proof and I saw Poorna Yoga and Darshan of the prime soul everywhere "Then came a monthly magazine by post called ‘Dharma Chakram’ in which it was printed:
"O Lord, you made me hear unheard matters, you showed this dog like soul of mine all the invisible things, in the presence of the public - that too during day-time. Another boon also you had given me. That great Lord had saved me from rebirth and bestowed liberation on this poor soul. What a wonderful thing He had done".
What a suitable verse to Swami’s prophecy of palm-reading; it is Swami who had made me write. No, He himself writes for the sake of readers. So He had written all that were unwritten sofar.
Sri Ramakrishna had told that both Bhakta (devotee) and Bhagavan are flooded away in the river of devotion and merge together. What a matching gospel is this!
14
BE A WITNESS
One day Swami asked me to be a witness; I asked for the meaning of it.
Swami: "No reaction should appear in your mind for any action. This is the state of witness. When and where a thing has to happen, it had already been destined so. You may do anything to overcome it, even then it will happen on any account. I am conducting a puppet show; you are merely a puppet. You do your duty only that is intended for you. Don’t allow any worldly transactions to appear in your mind. Not even a blade of grass will move without the will of God. You be a witness and see what happens around you. Don’t even allow any earthly intention to arise in your mind.
Let me tell a story as an example to the above advice. There were two birds on a tree. One bird ate the fruit. The other one was in blissful state without eating it. The one that ate the fruit is Jivatma. The other one is Paramatma (God) which was in a blissful state. Our body is the tree. Experiencing both pleasure and pain in the body, is equal to eating the fruit. Paramatma (God) lives in the body without attaching itself to the action. Just act like an actor until you have this body. Have no relatives in this world. The only relative is God."
One day Swami told G.V. to send me a picture in which a bird was seen flying over the globe; below the picture it was written. "Be a witness." G.V. sent that picture to the Doctor. Dr. kept the picture for five days in his puja room. All these things are attestations of Swami’s above three words "Be a witness". All these are Swami’s leelas (sports).
15
TRUE AND FALSE LETTERS
I wrote a letter to G.V. on 18.10.96. G.V. is a jnani (a man full of wisdom) by birth. Swami had told me that G.V. was His playmate during His Krishna Avatar with the name Thathi Pandan. Many demigods (Devas) and souls of other planets had associated with him. Dr. and I alone know this truth. He acts as a bridge between Baba and Myself. Whatever happens in my residence would be known to Mr. G.V. atonce. How is it possible? Just think over this.
The following is one of 1000 verses composed by me:
"If you laugh at Vadakkampatti,
It will echo at Virudhachalam,
Whatever this Vasantha talks,
It will go and fill the ears of G.V."
Whatever I talk here will be intimated to G.V. by Swami atonce, Myself being doubting Vasantha, I will ask myself whether what Swami told is true or just my imagination. Very often I would think like this. So I won’t leak it out until it is confirmed by Swami.
In such a situation Swami would tell G.V. to write to me. I started to write all my inner visions and bliss experienced by me to G.V. and the Dr. Swami has done so many leelas through this triangular connection. In this way, my 20 years personal experiences came to light during the past 4 years. A secret that was known only to we three is now made known to the whole world by Baba through this book. The Doctor prayed to Swami unceasingly to be able to bring out this book. Then Swami stressed and made me accept for the publication of the book.
For the first time I wrote a letter to Swami from the Dr.’s house regarding the publication of this book. Gowri (daughter of the Dr.) placing that letter at the feet of Baba prayed Swami. Atonce Swami got the pen from Gowri and signed on the letter as Baba I had been writing to Baba for the past 18 years, but I got the approval of Bhagavan on 9.3.93 only at the Dr’s residence. I thought that Swami’s signature would completely change my destiny itself.
"On my forehead is great Brahma’s true writings;
I wanted to make it a false writing,
So I prayed for Sathya Sai’s hand-writing.
Let me surrender at His feet with this verse writing."
I have written 1000 poems like the above one. But I got my first approval only from the Dr’s house,
16
DARBAR MANDAPAM
(King's Assembly Hall)
In my meditation, one day Swami took me to Puttaparthi.
I said, "Swami, there is no water at all in Chitravathi river."
Swami: "What is there? Shall I make the water flow?" Saying these words, Swami pulled something from the sand. At once the whole river was flooded with water. Then we sat on the sand for sometime.
Vasantha : "Swami! you had materialised so many things only from this sand".
Swami: "Yes, yes. You seem to think that I gave nothing to you. I have given Myself to you. What else do you need?"
Then Swami went up running to Kalpavraksha tree. I was not able to follow Him. Swami held my hand and took me with Him. He got an apple from the tree, ate a bit and gave the rest to me.
Then He showed every place at Prashanthi Nilayam.
"Swami, you did not show your interview room.
Swami : "What business have you in Emperor’s Darbar Mandapam, when I myself come to your place."
"Swami, please bestow Your grace liberally on the whole world."
"In that case, release Me from your bindings, then only I can help them". Swami replied.
What Swami told was strange to me, "Can’t You help the world, if I tie You". This thought made me oscillate. Then making my mind stronger, I said, "For the sake of world’s welfare, I will do whatever You want me to do, Swami!".
"You sacrifice God Himself for the welfare of the world".
Swami asked me to release Him. I wailed and cried continuously for three days. With confusion in my mind and tears in my eyes. I wrote a letter to G.V. and soon a reply came from him: "What is release? What to leave? This is a kind of mental state. Don’t worry". In this way, he had written a lot to console me.
When I was weeping on 13.10.96 from the midnight, Swami came. I asked Him :
"Swami! What is release? How can I live without You?" I asked Him.
"Sacrifice, sacrifice for world sake".
"In that case, let me sacrifice myself for the sake of the world. Let the world be benefitted by this. Let my soul also leave my body. For whom should I live here-after Swami?"
Swami : "Do you think that I would go away at once, after your sacrifice. A thing which is sacrifice itself would return with additional strength. If I reply like this what will you do? You were asking daily Gayatri Devi the following boon "O Mother Gayatri, you must be a saviour to my Swami". Now you ask : O Gayatri Mata! Let every mantra become a tieing knot and tie Swami with me! O dull headed one! you don’t understand even this simple thing".
Having told these things Swami disappeared.
Swami had told in the book ‘Sai Arulamudam’ (page no. 142), that Namasmarana (Repeating the Lord’s name) is the chain that binds God (I am in the habit of chanting 108 Gayatri mantras in the morning and 108 in the evening).
I am a small straw floating in the flood of time. I am one among the living beings and a small bubble in the ocean. Swami reveals Himself in ever so many ways to a poor, insignificant soul like me. I pray Swami to reveal His divinity to all.
17
NARA NARAYANA CAVE
Even staunch Sai devotees did not believe the contents of the book ‘Nara Narayana Gufa Ashram and Sai Leela’. Many doubted : "Is is possible to happen like this?" But in my case, Baba Himself took me to that cave. I had the darshan of all the sanyasis in their penance posture. The cave was broad and split up into single rooms. Baba showed me the Akshaya patra which plays the vital role in that book. It was broad mouthed without lid. Swami gave me a cup of milk from it. "Swami, first You sip it, let me take afterwards. Then only it will be delicious." Swami drank the half and gave me the rest of it. Its taste was wonderful.
Then we both walked on the slopes of the Himalayas. On the way He showed me a creeper called, Somalata (a tiny but heavy plant which gives unlimited life span). Its leaves were separate and not touching each other. It is very useful for yagna. "Those who did penance at Nara Narayana Gufa Ashram found this creeper."
Swami with His own divine hands showed me its (Somalata) stalk and the pattern of leaves. Now think a little over this. Don’t you think that all that happened at Nara Narayana cave is true? Who can measure the miraculas leelas of Baba?
Later I heard that there was a herbal garden near Nara Narayana cave. On the day of Krishna Jayanthi on 4 September, 1996, the Himalayan herbs of the above garden fell from Baba’s picture in my house. Perhaps Swami did go to confirm my darshan of the Himalayan herbal garden. On 22 September, 1996, repetition of 100008 names (Laksharchana) was done at my residence. Those who participated in it took those herbs to their homes.
Some ten days back, Swami had told me that He was going to reveal me like this; I too had written in my diary about it, but I did not tell anybody about it. When the Laksharchana was nearing completion, the three devotees Mr. J.V.K. Mr. Somanath and Mr. Kannan came to our house for the first time. Mr. Ramachandran intervened in the middle of his talk and told all, "Here is a person who had gone to the cave and returned." J.V.K. after finishing his talk asked, "Who is that holy soul who went to the cave?" Ramachandran narrated my visit to that cave with Baba.
Next day J.V.K. contacted me on phone. In this way through J.V.K. many devotees came to know about me. Swami had revealed me as He had already told. I prayed Swami to confirm my ‘Somalata Darshan.’ When I opened my eyes I saw sacred ash in the puja room. What a fortunate opportunity! Let me submit my tears at His feet.
J.V.K. saw the herbs failing on Krishna Jayanti (Birth day) day and told that Krishna after His birth gave these herbs as delivery medicine to one of his devotees. J.V.K. is an expert in saying similies like this.
Let me conclude this chapter by mentioning that whether you believe it or not, those herbs had been falling there for three months and a half.
18
EMBRACING HANDS
My grand son Sathyan was born by the grace of Baba. He had written a poem when he was only 7 years old. The title of the poem was a pratting letter. He wrote a letter to the Sanathana Sarathi. Both his poem and letter were published in Sanathana Sarathi. Swami told that Sathyan was His child and it was His duty to protect him.
I went to Sankarankoil on 16 January, 97 to see my daughter. I took with me Swami’s padukas and my grand son. At that time Sathyan asked me, "Grandma! is it Swami’s responsibility to protect whether I do right or wrong? If He takes care of me, let Him give me sugar candy".
I prayed Swami with this request. He told "It is my responsibility to protect him. Even if he does a wrong thing mother will embrace him. But for that reason one should not do wrong actions carelessly; righteousness is more important than anything else. One should cultivate good qualities in him". As per his request, sugar candy, Udhi (sacred ash), saffron appeared on the padukas. Incidentally I opened Dinamani newspaper. There I found in capital letters "Embracing hands’ A real proof indeed.
I told Sathyan about my prayer that I should reach God with my body like Andal and Vallalar and also told him Swami’s reply. He turned my diary and told me that Swami would definitely fulfil my wishes. Then vibhuti, sandal balls, small murukku pieces were seen on the padukas. After eating that murukku I told him that it was Tirupati Murukku, but my grand son told me that it was Srirangam Murukku. Just like Andal, I too wanted to merge with Srirangam Ranganatha. Is it not Swami’s attestation for Srirangam Murukku Readers may think whether it will happen like this. But it did had happen like this so many times.
My son Aravindan’s children Murali, Anand and my younger son’s daughter Vaishnavi all are good Sai devotees. Whenever these children join together during holidays they would play only with the Swami’s idol. One day Murali and Anand offered plums to Swami and prayed to eat them and Swami did eat them. At that time Vaishnavi was out of station. So she prayed Swami. "You must show me Your presence as You did to our brothers". Then Vaishnavi and Sathyan offered mango fruit. Baba made saffron to appear on the mango and the children felt very happy.
When I was writing this on 7 February, 1997 our son Manivannan, a teacher, who had taken his students to various tourist centres like Srirangam, Tirupati, Samayapuram, Ratnagiri, Kanchipuram Kamakodi Mutt, Vadalur Vallalar Ashram, Velankanni, Tirunallaru, Tanjore Prahadeswarar temple etc., returned with prasadams that had been offered to the respective Gods. Usually when Srirangam prasadam appears in my puja room, the same Srirangam prasadam comes along with various other prasadams to my house. Is it not a wonderful moment? Is this not a wonderful hour (8.30 P.M. Thursday) when I write about Srirangam, the prasadam from where has arrived? Is it not the grace of Baba? It is not a strange divine coincidence?
All these incidents are strong proofs that this book became holier by these various holy temple prasadams, just like a thing which becomes holier by sprinkling of some prokshana (holy) water.
Just as Andal merged with Sriranganatha I too wanted to merge and when I thought of Vallalar, prasadam came from Vadalur. Isn’t it Lord’s grace?
On 19 January, 1996 Sumangali (wife living with her husband is called sumangali) puja was going on at Mr. Om Kumar’s house, Myself and Dr.’s wife Sivamani were invited to that function to sit as Shakti deities on the altar. The arrangements were made on a large scale to conduct the ceremony according to religious Shastras. They did the puja, deifying Lakshmi Narayana. That beautiful scene was a feast to the eyes. I did not have the consciousness of being in this world. Mrs. Sivamani became the very embodiment of goddess. At the end of the function, Sivamani’s palms were found in thick red colour powder. That day Swami appeared in person and acknowledged the Puja.
Many signs were found to show Baba’s acknowledgment of puja. After five days when kumkum was seen, there were Lakshmi Narayana idol and Saraswati idols in the Kumkum. When I returned from Om Kumar’s house, they gave me a Saraswati idol, coconut, fruit and flower. Saraswati is the goddess of learning. When I was writing this book, this Saraswati idol was indeed a suitable reward to me.
Some days back I got the darshan of Saraswati Devi. I prayed her to bestow superior wisdom (jnana). Swami replied that both devotion and jnana are same. "If you have devotion, jnana will come automatically. That is why, I gave you Saraswati idol, the symbol of jnana."
Sometime back when Swami showed me Silver Island, I wanted a proof for the swan. Then a calendar in our house oscillated; Saraswati Devi was sitting with her veena on the back of the Swan in that calendar picture. Very often Swami’s compassion comes to me in this way.
Here I must mention about numerous idols that appear at Om Kumar’s house. Swami’s grace overflows in his house. Every one should see his (Om Kumar’s) holy residence; it is my humble request.
When we were taking our dinner on 23 February, 1997, my son Manivannan told me about the star mark on my palm which is a sign that Swami had acknowledged me as his devotee. Then a question arose, "What about others? Are they too not Swami’s devotees?" The answer is --- those names which appear in this book are also acknowledged by Baba as His devotees. At once my husband asked, "You have not written about us. Are we not Sai devotees?"
"Swami! what reply shall I give to my husband?" Swami replied, "His demand is a correct one. He also aspires like you, otherwise how he will get your relationship. Write this also in your book". O Readers! don’t you think that Swami is so gracious in answering to each and every thought of mine?
It is my sincere duty to thank every member of my family. As Swami had told me I spend the whole day in Swami’s thought; I do pujas and go to satsang (Spiritual get-together). My family members fully co-operate with me in all these things, with whole-hearted enthusiasm. Particularly I must thank my younger daughter-in-law Manohari; where She is here; she takes all the responsibilities of the family and allows me to serve Swami. My first daughter-in-law also is the embodiment of good qualities.
I pray Lord to shower His blessing on one and all, as He has blessed my family.
© 2000 You are welcome to E-Mail me at krishnan58@hotmail.com or vkram@vsnl.net