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Morbid Thoughtz Well, now would you like to think this page is pre-occupied with thingz as trivial as death and god or government? Well you'll be delighted to enter the darker reveiers of Aurista's Mind. Now how fucking fair is it to have a government sic a fuckload of freedom stripping "security" laws on a hoi poloi that did not ask for it? FUCK the governement, I am soooo sad that the land of the free is turning into land of the overprotected and controlled. I hate DMCA, I hate the Patriot Act, I hate the CBDTPA, and the CDA/COPA Acts. I WANT THE EVERYDAY AMERICAN TO READ UP ON THIS CRAP! We are being herded like sheep into a fucking totalitarian government system. Who is going to stop this crap? I'm fucking sure our government is about as bad or worse than other ones. I even think they planned the whole 9/11 bullshit, and staged the ordeal so that they can clean up thier fucking messes in the Middle East. FUCK YOU BUSH! FUCK YOU RICK PERRY! YOU CAN SUCK MY FUCKING DICK! Those son of a bitches! I hate you all. Read more of the fucked up shit about our governent here. Goddamn Love! I love my family and my friends, but I have yet to find a girl to love me! I will find you, who ever you are, and I swear I will make you the most loved person, and happiest person I can humanly provide. I am so fucking romantic that I think it hurts prosepective releationships. I either come on too strongly (I tell them how I feel) or I am too shy, but I am never disrespectful. I'd do most anything for my other, my partner, I will love them and hug them, and be thiers. Hah! I still need to find you. I have never even had one girl friend (to date: 12/24/2002), but I want one, I want to feel the feeling one gets from knowing someone feels the same feeling they feel for them. (could that not sound more complicated) Love may be a series of chemicals in our brains, but damned my brain for requiring an external component for me to feel complete, and mentally, soulfully, physically satisified. I had at least one time or another, thought I am not human or I am the only human in a virtual world with nothing but inhuman figments of either my imagination or of an external force which is influencing me. Then I wonder why I have thoughts like these, and I contemplate that if I think like this - I may have thought of a thought no one has ever though of/up. Then I wonder if I just thought of a thought that no body ever has thought of. Then I think and imagine as hard as I can to think of a thought that is out of the range of my current thoughts. (if that can make any sense to you). I wonder if I am truely (and I mean really) different than any other human being, and I ponder if I will ever really be some one or somebody great (in my eyes). I have the belief that I can be more than anything I can ever fathom, this illusion is in my mind. I feel like I can stutter and trump the strength of any mind exposed to me. I try to have the most obscure of thoughts and execise my imagination , as I image a tidal wave slowly rip my classroom to peaces as I sit there clamly pondering.... day dreaming.... oh god how i wonder what higher forms of thought I can reach without the assistance of arts created by other man! I know I am different, and I want to know if anyone else thinks like me. I'm wondering whom in the past and present has had the/an orginial thought, that so expontially amounted to our volumous amounts of human knowledge (much like I think I've had), I am so confusingly mentally preoccupied. (How can one decribe the word "think" to someone who doesn't understand a language?) Those of us who had contemplated death, wonder what lies for us on the "other side" at least one time or another - I'm sure. We have wondered how we might die, and when, and where, and or how those who know us will react to it, and such... but why do we care? Where was this original thought (again)?. I want to flat out say I don't believe in religion, (another fucked up institution - which kills original thought), FUCK YOU GOD! - hah see if he cares, for all he and I know I may be he or I may be evil or good, but I really don't give a fuck. I hate the hoi poloi (masses) who do think a little invisible freak who created the world is watching us to judge what to do with us after our deaths. Motherfucker must have been bored to create us, and getz eons of enterntainment by watching us goto hell or come to heaven. BULL-FUCKING-SHIT!. I will believe when I get enough verifyable data, but for now my god is science. I believe in human science - the truest to the universe - which is based on logic, which is based on thought, which is the driving force of us humans. Ask yourself where was god for all the suffering people in the world? If he is so wonderful why must we worship his ass and then experience pain in life, and then die and experience more pain, with the possibility of going to "hell". Fuck the matter it doesn't matter, I'm more interested in living, and my 3 urges are to [eat/sleep], [get laid], [be loved]. Fuck the rest! back to the caveman, back to the birds and more "simple" creatures, they don't worry about it, and neither will I. |
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