THE "YELLOW PAGES" AGENCIES

* The tone of some of your text appears indiscriminately critical and even snooty with regard to the rest of us (i.e. "yellow pages" agencies) out here.
* You must realise that we "middle class" people of the world often do find happiness with the "yellow pages" agencies.
* Can you say some more about the upside/downside of non-elite services?

* In lumping together all "yellow pages" agencies I have been doing what I - and my co-workers - always used to do. We did generalise about them. We did rather look down on them. After all, it's a fundamental - if unattractive - human instinct to look down on those doing less well in a profession than you are. The Major Leagues look down on the Minor Leagues. The national media look down on their affiliates. In the same way our attitude towards the "yellow pages" agencies probably was rather snobbish and patronising, and it would be dishonest of me to try to characterise it as anything else.

But, although I was accurately reflecting this attitude in what I have written, I was probably painting with too broad a brush. So let me explain my views of these agencies in rather more detail.

To the degree that some of these agencies dressed themselves up as what we actually were - an elite, high-class affair - my criticism of them stands. Any agency that services anyone who comes through their door with a roll of dollars in their hand is not "elite" or "discriminating". It is also, I would suggest, taking risks with its girls' safety.

Many of their managements are sleazy, at best. Some are crooks, plain and simple. And organized crime is frequently a background presence.

Whereas my agency, and ones like it, were pitching for repeat custom - which they could only get by providing outstanding service - many of the yellow pages affairs know no-one will be coming back. Their drive is to get as many people as possible through the door, to get as much money out of them as they can, and to get them out of the door again as quickly as possible. And, if they start getting known as hustlers and custom drops, they simply shut down and open up under a new name.

Though the scams usually start with the management, there are girls out there who are quite willing to hustle too: from ones who disappear with your money in the course of a trip to the ladies room, to girls who suddenly get shocked at the idea that their "escorting" of you should culminate in sex. Like you'd really hand over that many bills for their sparkling conversation...

Of course, they're counting on the fact that you can't make a fuss; and they're usually right. The huge irony of imposing dumb, repressive laws on what is, at core, consensual adult activity is that it actively protects the hustlers, scammers and crooks. They know that the customers they cheat, and the girls they abuse, have nowhere to go.

So the guts of my warning to you about the yellow pages agencies stands.

HOWEVER...there is another side to the story, and I am guilty of having sketched over it so far.

There are decent "yellow pages" agencies out there. Plenty of them. Ones that will treat you fairly and give you good service. Indeed, some of them will offer a service similar to the one we provided: going out with you, staying overnight, providing a lot more than just a quick lay.

So, in attacking the managements of many of the yellow pages agencies, I am not criticising most of the girls who work for them. They are often as much victims as you are (and the cuts they get of the money can be shockingly low).

* Can you recommend a yellow pages agency in "Gotham City"?

* I'd be hesitant about doing so even if I was able to. It's not what this site is about. But, in fact, the question is moot. Simply, I have no more knowledge than any of you which are the good agencies in a set city.

You could try the World Sex Guide and the Cyprian Guild's links page. (I link to them at the foot of my main page.) You may find something useful there.

* How can I tell the better yellow pages agencies?

* I suspect that for most people it's a rather expensive crap-shoot. You try several until you find one that gives a satisfactory service. Of course, this is no help when you're in a strange town.

The only guidelines or suggestions I can give are these:

* Look for an agency that's been around a few years. Scams don't tend to survive that long.
* Try The World Sex Guide and the alt.sex.prostitution newsgroup. Information may pop up there. (Though, of course, its accuracy can't be vouched for.)
* Beware anywhere that has goons hanging around. As there is no intrinsic need for them in the business, their purpose can only be to intimidate either the girls or you or both.
* I know the law clouds the issue, but you're still the customer so act like one. Don't hand over your money until you're satisfied (you won't get it back). Don't buy "sight-unseen". Beware places with photos of girls who "aren't available tonight" but offer to send another "even prettier"...yeah, right. Just try and use the same smarts you would making any other deal.

In the interests of public enlightenment, I asked Teri Goodson of the Cyprian Guild the same question. (I link to her pages, which I recommend, at the foot of my site) With her permission, I quote her reply:

"It is hard if they haven't a recommendation from someone they trust. I also tell clients to pay attention to how they are treated, as I believe they should be treated fairly and honestly. Some questions, clients can actually ask when they phone. Otherwise they may just have to take a chance and find out through experience what the agency is like. Some of the questions which come up for me are: Does the agency make false claims or misrepresent itself or its people? Are they courteous and reliable? How do they resolve disputes? Do they take the time to ensure that their customers are truly satisfied? How do they treat the women/men working for them? What is their general reputation?"