Computer Support Stories

I’ve been in charge of a microcomputer support function over twelve years now. Sometimes when trying to help people, the calls sometimes go like this. (Thanks to the Windows 95 Annoyances site for that one.) As you might imagine there have been some rather humorous incidents that have occurred over that time, usually provided by the "technologically challenged". These are a few of those stories.

	Buyer Beware!

	There was a day many years ago when not all computers came with hard disks and some were "dual floppy" models. This incident occurred soon after 3-1/2" diskettes started becoming popular. A friend had asked me to go with him to a local computer store to help him decide which computer system to buy. It was a small store with only one young woman attending customers at the time. He showed me one particular model that he liked, but it looked to me like it was a "dual-floppy" model with a 5-1/4" floppy disk drive and a 3-1/2" floppy disk drive. I called the clerk over to ask her if this model had a hard disk in it. Her answer was "Yes". She then preceded to give me a lesson. She pulled out a 5-1/4" floppy disk and said "This is a floppy disk.", wiggling it as she held it up, "and this is a hard one" clicking on the case of the 3-1/2 disk. My response was "Thank you, I won’t asked any more questions, have a nice day." And we left to return on a better day.

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	Just the fax, ma'am.

	I used to work out at Norton AFB in California, with the home office in Washington, DC. Every two weeks we had to send in the office time sheets, so that the employees could get paid. This data was transferred electronically by modem, so that it wouldn’t have to be retyped on the other end. On this particular day, Murphy’s Law (Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.) was doing its thing. About an hour before the data was to be transferred all of the electricity went out in the building, bringing down all of the computers. When the deadline was up, the secretary from the home office called me to find out where out time sheets were. I explained the problem to her telling her all of the computers were down and told her we’d send the information out, just as soon as the electricity in the building came back on. Her comment was "I don’t have time to wait, could you please fax it, and I’ll type it up on this end." …

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	Can she type?

	This story was told to me buy our computer hardware technician. This is another tale that comes from the days of the 5-1/4" floppies. The technician had been called to the building next to ours by one of the secretaries, because data was being lost on a regular basis from the floppy disks a day or two after she created them. These are the type of questions that can drive a technician crazy, because the person usually can’t reproduce the problem. The technician made a copy of the DOS diskette and ran a number of tests on the disk drive, but couldn’t find anything wrong with the drive. Finally he gave up and told the secretary to try to figure out any pattern of events that was occurring prior to the data loss. He gave her the DOS diskette, telling her that he had made a perfectly good copy of DOS, so she might as well keep it. While he was talking to her, she proceeded to take the diskette out of the envelope, put it into the typewriter, and typed "DOS" on the label. The technician asked "Do you always do that right after you create a new diskette?" "No", she replied, "usually I wait a day or two." "Why do you type the information on the diskette?", he asked. "Well, my boss told me never to write on the diskettes with a ballpoint pen.", she replied.

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	Lights Out!

	This is a story that was told to me by another computer specialist. Periodically computer specialists get together and swap tales about computer support. This computer specialist had gotten a telephone call from a computer user, saying that his computer wasn’t responding. Normally computer specialists won’t start out with the obvious questions, because it makes the person on the other end of the line think that we think they’re stupid. Unfortunately, after exhausting all of the tough questions, you have to ask the inevitable question, "Is it plugged in?". "I can’t tell", was the answer. "The electricity is off and I can’t see behind the computer to see if it’s plugged in or not."

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	Backup Your Data!

	This is another story from the days of the 5-1/4" floppies. A woman came walking into my office carrying a 5-1/4" floppy diskette with her fingers holding it by the open data slot. "I sure hope you have a backup of that diskette", I told her. I then explained that the oils from her fingers could destroy the data on the diskette. "Oh, I thought that was a finger hold", she replied. She then put the diskette and a piece of paper she was carrying down on the table across from my desk and we continued to talk. I soon realized that she had sat down on the table on top of the diskette. "I really hope you make lots of backups.", I told her. When the conversation ended, she got up from the table, picked up the diskette and the piece of paper, borrowed a paper clip from my desk, paper-clipped the diskette to the piece of paper, and walked out of the office. I couldn’t do anything, but shake my head.

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	Comunication Problems!

	One of the toughest jobs is trying to answer computer support questions over the telephone, because you can’t see the obvious and don’t want the person on the other end of the line to feel stupid. One of the computer specialists that works for me had received a call concerning an external modem that wasn’t working. She spent about 15-20 minutes on the line asking the obvious questions, like "Is it plugged in?" The answer was "Yes". Finally she gave up and came to me for help. I asked her if she had asked all of the obvious questions, and she had, so I was baffled myself. Finally I got on the line. "You’re sure it’s plugged in?, I asked. "Yes", the person on the other end of the line said. "And you’ve got no lights lit on the modem?". I reiterated. "Yes", she said. "And it’s plugged into the phone line?", I asked. "I already told you it was.", she said getting exasperated. Then it came to me, "Is there another little cord with a black box that’s plugged into the electrical socket?", I asked.

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	Speed Too?

	One of the people in the office came to me saying she needed a faster computer. She already had one of the fastest computers in the office, so I asked her why she thought she needed a faster computer. She said that someone else in the office had sent her an e-mail yesterday morning and she didn’t get it until this morning. I asked her if I could watch her bring up her computer. She brought up her computer, which had the e-mail icon in the startup, read her mail then closed the e-mail, rather than minimizing it. I asked her if she only gets e-mail once a day, she said, no, sometimes she gets it several times through the day, but only after rebooting. "Yup, a faster computer will definitely fix this problem!", I thought sarcastically.

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	Screen Shots!

	I had written up some user documentation in Microsoft Word that included several screenshots of a procedure that needed to be followed to install a new software program. I gave the document to the secretary to make some final corrections and cleanup. She came back to my office all frustrated because her computer had hung up and she was afraid she’d lost all of the changes she’d made to the document. I asked her if the computer was still hung, so that I could take a look at it. She assured me that it was, so I went over to her desk. On the screen was one of my screenshots containing a paragraph explaining the functions of the program, with two buttons at the bottom, "Continue" and "Exit". She told me that she had tried selecting both buttons and nothing would work. I scrolled the Word document up a little and showed her that the computer was working just fine.

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	refnor@mgfairfax.rr.com
	Last modified: 08-29-99
	accesses since November 15, 1997