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Recapping March March was spent tearing my hair out over the sale of our house. The buyer had the worst time coming up with financing, and we were put through hell waiting to see if he was going to get his money. Eventually he got his money, and we closed on our house March 30th. I moved into my new apartment the end of March and began living my life alone. I'd hoped that my new neighbors might be friendly, but let's face it, this is S.C....there ARE NO friendly neighbors here! All in all I really don't mind. I've lived in this area for the last 10 yrs now and I'd be shocked if I ever met someone who was nice after all this time. Recapping April April was spent settling into my new place, fighting with my telephone company, and generally losing my mind. At the same time I was fighting for my rights as a soon to be divorced woman. As well as trying to cover my butt in our separation agreement. One thing I now know for a fact, all lawyers are scum! Recapping May The first 2 weeks of this month was spent either lying in bed, or on the couch. I guess with all the stress of my separation agreement, my house being sold, and moving, it really took it's toll on me physically. I was unable to sit, stand, walk, or lie in any position for more than 5 mins. My skin felt like the top layer had been torn off. Bathing, wearing clothes, moving or anything else created unbearable pain for me. I layed to the pain pills and eventually I returned to my normal, which is far from "normal". My Mom and I had planned a trip back home to Pa. to visit friends and family. But since I was in such horrible shape our trip had to be rescheduled until last week. On the 13th My Mom and I packed up the car and set off for Pa. We'd stopped in Staunton Va. the first night. As we walked into the elevator my Mom's knee went out from underneather her. Thankfully she had the railing inside the elevator to hang on to. But she was in agony, and she was unable to get out of the elevator. Thankfully I'd put our luggage on a trolly cart in the lobby. Quickly I pulled off all of our bags and got my mom on the trolly cart. Then I pushed her to our room, went back for the bags, and got her settled into bed. For hours I continued to put hot towels on her knee. Neither of us got any sleep that night, and upon morning we decided our only choice was to come back home. I drove as fast as I could through torrential downpours and bumper to bumper traffic. My mom was in agony, and the trip back seemed to take us forever. We'd both lost our appitites, so we never bothered to stop for food. Seven hours later I pulled up in front of the emergency room at our local hospital. After 3 hours of waiting and waiting we were told it was a torn ligament. They'd put a knee immobalizer on and sent us on our way. My next stop was to the pharmacy for pain pills for my mom, then to IHOP for dinner. Since she was in no shape to be alone I decided I'd just move in with her until she could be on her own. Saturday morning my mom was in even more pain. She'd awoken with an abscessed tooth and a swollen jaw. I phoned our dentist, but the soonest I could get her in was the following Monday. Sunday she woke up with a bladder infection as well as the abscessed tooth and the damaged knee. She ate very little over the weekend and was in agony all the time. Once we got her to the dentist he was able to give her some antibiotics and some more pain pills. Wednesday we'd seen our family doctor about her knee. As it turned out it wasn't a torn ligament but torn cartilage in her knee. She returns to the doctor next week for more tests, and to determine when to schedule the knee surgery. All in all she's in pretty good shape now, and I decided to come back to my apartment tonight. The infection in her tooth is slowly healing, the bladder infection is better, and she's able to get around pretty good on her crutches. All this "nursing" has taken it's toll on me physically and I feel just miserable. Once she has her knee surgery I'll be moving back in with her until she can be on her own again. I fully intend to spend all of tomorrow trying to catch up on missed sleep.   Last week she had begun to improve. We were both encouraged to see her getting around without her crutches. This week however is a different story. For some reason she's just as bad as the night she got hurt. I keep thinking I should probably move back in with her. Don't get me wrong, I love my Mother very much. But I don't want to move back in again. For so many years I've felt my life was devoted to everyone but me. I'd like to change that somehow. I'm not sure what's harder on me, seeing my Mother in pain and crying, trying to do things for my Mother that makes my FM & CFIDS worse. Or the stress this whole situation has had on me. Tonight as I write this the CFIDS has hit me good. I feel sick and achy all over, not to mention the feeling that the top layer of my skin has been torn off completely. The fatigue is unbelievable. It's a chore just to hold my head up. I went to visit my Mom today. We'd gone in together on buying a video library of TV mini series. Between the heat, my exhaustion and pain, and her pain, neither of us was much company. Now that she seems to be getting worse the depression has begun to set in. I know exactly what she's going through, as I feel this way myself, 24 hours a day. I think the one thing that has managed to save me from going off the deep end myself, have been the calls I've recieved from an old and dear friend of mine. He seems to be the only person who can see inside me at this moment. The advice and support he's given me via long distance phone calls has helped immensely. It's so nice to be able to have a person understand what you are thinking and feeling without telling them. It's also refreshing to have this in a person that wants nothing from me but to see me well and happy. I envy his fiance`, she's got one in a million in him! I've decided right now the best thing for both my Mother and myself is to move. This place holds nothing for us anymore. All it seems to do is to make both of us miserable. I need to be near my family, as does my Mom. I need to be able to have someone to talk to in reguards to my mother's health. I also need to have someone to help me in my day to day living needs. We have both lived here for 10 years now, and neither of us has one solitary friend. I'm hoping that when we move that will change for both of us. This is no way to live. Once she is back on her feet again we'll put her house up for sale. If all goes well we should be able to find a new place in no time at all. Thinking back on some of the advice my friend gave me, "find something you enjoy and do it", I think that our enjoyment won't ever be found here in South Carolina. I'm hoping it will be found in Florida. Reguardless of where, or if I find happiness, I have to make an attempt. My life is changing by the minute, it might as well change in a new location too. | |||||
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