Endorsements
It's a big world out there, and sometimes it's hard to know what's cool. Aside from the Onion Armada, many things rely upon opinions of individuals. Most of which are wrong. So, to make sure you know what's worth your time, or rather worth our time, and thus worth ANYONE'S time, we've clearly provided for you a list of many things that are decidedly cool...
Canadian Endorsements are located at the bottom. The end is where Canadians belong. Even the cool ones.
If you or your company is or is not endorsed by the Onion Armada and you have something to say about it, or would like to give us free stuff for giving you props...or to receive props after giving us stuff, email OnionArmada@hotmail.com
The following are endorsed by The Onion Armada, and thus should be endorsed by you:
The Onion Armada fully endorses The Onion Armada.
Homestar Runner, Strongbad, and all the others... except Marzipan (www.Homestarrunner.com)
Although not affiliated, we still endorse The Onion (www.theonion.com)
Hot naked chicks (Email any individual band member for information on where to find more about this topic...
Aaron - Bondage & S/M
Grant - Group Orgy
Kate - Girl on Girl
Casey - Tentacle Porn
Buzz - Barely Legal
Mike - Entirely Illegal/Pedophilia
Kurt - Necrophilia
The Rock (Grant and Kate do not endorse The Rock.)
Spaghetti Works (Buzz does not endorse Spaghetti Works.)
Perkins as a purely hangout establishment. We do not endorse their food, their prices, or their service. (www.perkinsrestaurants.com/)
Star Trek (Aaron, Grant, Kate, Buzz, Mike, Casey and Kurt do not endorse Star Trek.)
The Simpsons (www.thesimpsons.com)
Your Mom
Mad props to the creator of the metric system.
Jhonen Vasquez (creator of Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and Invader Zim)
Kool Aid, for providing cheap, efficient beverage for many, many occasions. (www.kool-aid.com)
The happy face water tower in Freeport, MN.
The concept of video games that don't suck.
Free stuff.
Sex, masturbation, and all other incarnations of kinky pleasure.
Meat, preferably cooked, although not necessarily. (Maybe this link will work: www.meat.com)
Sewer systems (www.manhole.com)
People who didn't fall for that.
The Mall of America (though not all stores within are fully endorsed, like Journey's, why the fuck does Journey's even exist?).
Dead Comics
The Onion Armada recognizes special achievement in overcoming Canadian background by the following people:
The three unnamed Canadians in the front row at the Fargo, ND Weezer concert on May 2nd, 2002
All five members of the Kids in the Hall
Canadian bacon (The food, not the movie)
The Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen
Bryce something-or-other, bass player of AM Radio
If YOU would like to become an Onion Armada endorsed cool Canadian, email OnionArmada@hotmail.com to find out how.
