An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of it's valuables, she yelled, "stop! Acts 2:38 !"

The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained the burglar; "Why did you
just stand there?

All the old lady did was yell a bible scripture to you."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar. "Hell, I thought she said
she had an axe and two 38's."


Acts 2:38--Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be
baptized everyone of you in the name of JESUS CHRIST
for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of
the holy ghost.
There is a guy shipwrecked on a deserted island with a
doberman and a pig..(Ok so I lied, this aint Gilligan).
Anyway there was plenty of food and water, so they
would do just fine.

Several months go by and the guy starts getting a little
.....(well you fill in the dots). He decides the pig is really
starting to look pretty good long in now.

Everytime he makes advances on the pig, the doberman
would growl and snap...After several weeks this gets
very frustrating.

Then one day he spots something and swims out to get it.
It was a dingy with a beautiful woman in it. He nurses her
back to health.

When she was better, she tells him that she will do anything
he wants because she was so grateful for him saving her life..


He smiles and says....
Would you take my dog for a little walk ???
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