You see, two and a half decades ago... there was this revelation. My two impressively intelligent parents decided that rather than squander all this intellect between the two of them, they'd go forth and give to the world another human to carry on this incredible gift of mental endowment.

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So they went to the adoption agency...

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    Just kidding. Hence began the creation and evolution of my current self. However, being as smart as they are, my parental persons decided it was in my best interest to not only have an extraordinary mental capacity but also to have two siblings to challenge and annoy me... I mean, anchor me. Because no matter how smart you are, you need two younger brothers to tell you you're really just a dumbass :)

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    So after much social preparation ("don't pick your nose!"), I was sent to venture into the realm of institutionalized public education. In pre-school I learned the rewards of the orchestrated concerted effort of teamwork. We tripped the teacher down a flight of stairs. Had my brothers been old enough to comprehend the magnitude of this feat, I have no doubt I would have been held in highest acclaim and utmost envy on their part.

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Then came secondary school...

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    Ahhh, so I figured it out. It took me 12 years, but I had FINALLY figured it out. In grade school, one imagines their instructors as immortal figures of supreme knowledge with answers to the most impressive questions of the universe. That there is a reason behind their method of challenging your mind to the point that you think there can't possibly be a logical explanation for such a complex theory!... but hark, there in your bewilderment and loss for understanding, the teacher sheds new light on the true meaning and delivers the elusive answer! WOW, what remarkable beings these people are! But alas, I (being a smarty pants) figured it out. The answers are in the back of the teacher's edition! *duh*

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    Armed with my newfound discovery, I felt more confident in my passage to higher learning. I packed my belongings (hairdryer and shower shoes) and began my college adventure. Now *this* is what life is all about. What better taste of reality than to be on your own (living in the dorms), gaining a better work ethic (You want me to work at Burger King?!), learning responsibility (sleeping through your 8am Economics class), making financial decisions ($5.50, six pack of beer or pay late fee at Blockbuster?), and developing adaptive means of communication ("did that guy just flip me off?!?!).

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Then I got a job...

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    Oh geez, no wonder they have to pay people to do this stuff! I guess there's a reason they call it WORK. Okay, so since my freshman (level one ignorance) days in college, I've experienced what I like to fondly refer to as my miriad of inauspicious employment. In chronological order: Sandwich construction expert, greasy burger joint broiler scrubber, death insurance telemarketer, mail room aficionado, money handler (not mine though :P), classified advertising telephone person (I swear this lady kept wanting to sell her broken toilet seat), and finally... Payroll Clerk. Woo Hoo!! What a dream job, I get to shovel out cash to everyone except my low totem-pole self. *heh* And oh yeah, I finally caught the true nature of 'reality'.

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