Here is the second ever tribute edition of "Quasi-Weekly," dedicated to
Craig MacKenzie.
Craig MacKenzie is cooler than cool, because he works at a unique store.
Craig MacKenzie works at the "Gay Farmer," a store where they sell Altoids
for almost twice as much as CVS, and a lot of stuff that he doesn’t even
know what it is. The jellybeans are good though. In case anyone wants to bug
Craig while he’s working, the "Gay Farmer" is located on Summer Street, near
3 Trolls and Alpine Butcher Shop.
Craig MacKenzie will be the Director of the upcoming CHS Musical
Production of Camelot. No, not Damn Yankees, Camelot. This job involves many
hours, days, and weeks of preparation, devotion, time, effort, and stress.
Not to mention that he should be canonized simply for sitting through
everyone’s auditions. But seriously, I think we all appreciate him for it,
and look forward to the show.
In related news, rumor has it that the Bunny Luv® carrot company will be
sponsoring Camelot, on the conditions that "Seductive Bunny®" stars in the
role of Gueniviere. They have generously offered Craig a lifetime supply of
baby carrots if he will arrange this.......
Some of you may not know this, but Craig has won many awards. One of
them being the prestigious and much sought after "Mr. Always Smiling
‘96-’97." the competition was rough, and he campaigned well, so I think that
this was a well deserved honor. He has also won the little known Medal of
Honor from the U.F.O. (United Fleece-loving Organization). Every year they
recognize someone who has loved fleece loyally, and this year the U.F.O.
selected Craig. Congratulations Craig!
Well, I think we have all learned quite a bit more about Craig MacKenzie
from reading this, and I’d like to close with a quote:
"Craig is cool!
-anonymous
Writer's Notes:
The following notes were not included in the original newsletter. They are
intended to explain to the reader some of what was meant by various items in
the newsletter.
Craig was the second senior to be honored with a tribute edition of this
newsletter. Meri Kiernan was the first.
"Gay Farmer" is what a few of us use to refer to a store really called
"The Elegant Farmer" here in Chelmsford.
Sarah Ames dubbed it that, after a joke about
how "elegant" was a 90's term for gay. So, we tease him by calling it the
"Gay Farmer" instead. They sell gourmet food, or more appropriately,
"yuppie chow" like sprouts, granola stuff, all that healthy crunchy food.
All the stuff is wicked expensive.
The joke in Damn Yankees is that every year, Mr. Rondina and Mrs. Stevens
post clues as to what the musical will be. They announce it immediately
after Winter Concert, gathered around in the McCarthy Band Room. Every year,
the joke is that it will be Damn Yankees, which no one really knows too much
about. So we all as a joke make up explanations as to why it must be Damn
Yankees. The real joke will be when they decide to actually do Damn Yankees,
and we have all given up on that joke.
If you want to know what the meaning behind the "Seductive Bunny" is, go to
the supermarket, and pick up a bag of Bunny Luv carrots. Our joke is that
they are using sex to sell vegetables. If you can't figure it out,
email me. I'd say to email Craig, but I
think he'll kill me if I put his address up on this page.
Craig was determined to win the title of "Always Smiling" in the yearbook.
Even though he didn't actually get elected as "Always Smiling" he wanted it
and every day would ask just about everybody whether or not he was always
smiling. So, I felt he deserved it anyway. He also has a mild "thing" for
fleece, and thus earned the fictional title of "Medal of Honor from the
U.F.O."
