1.) That all the men wear cowboy
hats and boots. - Wear isn't the proper term. Most have them surgically
attached.
2) That the women have big hair.
-Infact this was outlawed in July 1977. There is a task force and they
are doing their best to reach every last woman. Bear with us.
3) That everything is twice as
big in Texas.- Really everything is 1.865 times bigger. But we round up.
4) That JR Ewing still lives here.
-That was a tv show people! Come on! Chuck Norris, on the otherhand, is
a real karate choppin' Texas Ranger.
5) That all Texans own guns. -
We don't use the general term guns. We prefer to call them our "little
silver insurance agents".
6) That Texas gets extremely hot
in the summer. -In fact we only have 2-3 days of real heat in Texas...real
heat being when there is over a 75% probability of self-combustion.
7) That Willie Nelson is our favorite
son. -Actually he's our favorite braided silver-haired granddaddy.
8) That everyone has an oilwell
in their backyard. -Mine's in the front.
9) That we have killer bees, fireants,
gigantic roaches and mosquitos and other god-awful insects, tornadoes,
hurricanes, and damaging hailstorms.- I don't know where this pack of hysteria
got started, but we're gonna assume its from some non-Texan type. We tend
to think of them as a few bitty bugs and a bad hairday.
10) That everyone speaks with a
Texas accent. -Y'all just don't know what y'all are talking about.
© 1998 - 2007 SWeber