If you're like me and don't like keeping a gun around the house for obvious reasons, might I suggest mini blow darts and large rolling boulders for protection? They’re perfectly legal, and I’ve found they can do the job, too. And of course let’s not forget croquet mallets, piano wire, pitch forks, metal cheese graters, bowling balls, bear traps, discarded marble tile and frozen chunks of meat... all handy household weaponry. (and no license or background checks required!) 

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