Diary 101

05-15-98


(Friday)Today was another day with too little sleep and too much work. I ran around all day until quitting time, then passed out for the ride home. The only good thing to come from work today was my supervisor agreeing to put me on full time again, now that college is over. I need the money. I need to get the hell out of this house. I just know that it's going to be insufferable now that Pia's gone. I'm waiting for her to write me. I wonder if she ever will.

Katie got us tickets to see "Scapin". Her boyfriend's the stage manager. I loved it...it was absolutely hilarious. It was a great production, even if you don't consider the fact that it was a high-school thing. I was laughing my ass off almost the entire time.

Afterwards, Katie, Chris, Dirk and I went out to eat. Poor Chris, he's been working himself half to death for this. I wouldn't be stagemanager for anything in the world...except maybe a car. I'd do almost anything for a car. I'm starting to get a bit frantic. Katie can lend me a couple hundred, but that's not near enough. I'm probably going to get a credit card.

We have our first practice tomorrow. I'm worried Charlie will crap out on us. I'm worried I'll be spending $175 for the rehearsal space for nothing. Please, let this work out. At least this, if nothing else in the world.

We've been working so hard to rebuild after Ken ditched us, and nothing seems to be working out. It's almost as if we were cursed. Or else Ken's been busy spreading the word of our---fuck, what's the word. It's like lavish, expensive, but with a negative connotation. Fuck. I can't remember. Decadence. That's it. When he found out that Dirk and I were dating, he said that the word that came to mind was Decadence. Asshole. He's just jealous because I never bought him a guitar.

That's one of the things that makes me feel really stupid right now. I wasted so much money. Granted, I don't consider the $425 I spent on Dirk's guitar a waste, but I could really use the money right now. I could practically buy a fucking car with that money. Lousy, but it would run.

I haven't heard from Ken. I wonder if he's gotten Internet access yet. I hope so. I dearly want him to run across this journal. I want him to understand just how thoroughly I dislike him. Somehow I can never make him understand that, no matter how rude I am to him on the phone.

I wonder if he's gotten back together with Whitney. I also wonder if they have threesomes with her dog (assuming, of course, that she has one now). Yuck. I'm disgusting even myself.


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