Well, I am certainly falling in love with the concept of Ken having Internet access. I can send him all sorts of horribly mean little e-mails, be mean in instant messages, and he just takes it! I can criticize everything I was afraid to before. It's not like he can scream at me now. Wow....I hope all this power doesn't corrupt me.
As a side note, I still haven't sent him his stuff. Just sitting here, twiddling my thumbs, thanks.
Today was my last day to laze around my house with Dirk. On Thursday, The Evil One (aka: My Mother) is off, so I might not even see him all day. And next week, I go back to full time. I'm not a happy kitty. (Yes, I'm fully aware that there's another girl who writes a journal and refers to herself as a kat....she sucks. Sucksucksucksucksucks. And she can die. I hope she does. I have seven of them...s-e-v-e-n k-i-t-t-i-e-s...can she say as much?) I'm going to miss my Tuesday and Thursday rituals.
Now that I've gotten that little bout of immaturity out of my system, time to move on to my day. Actually, I've been kind of weird since I hit my head on the footstool in my kitchen. Dirk had caught hold of my hands to keep me from flicking his nipples (in retaliation for him flicking mine, BTW), twisted one leg around my left leg, moved his grip to my upper arms, and told me that he could make me fall. I wrapped one arm around the back of his neck, grabbed a handful of the back of his shirt, and told him that if I fell, I was taking him down with me. (We like to play rough) Big mistake. I lost my balance, and, sure enough, we both fell, me on bottom. It didn't hurt until the back of my head hit the metal footstool, and then it hurt really bad. Dirk freaked (remembering the time I gave myself a concussion), got me to open my eyes and get up, and accused me of falling on purpose just to make him whimper. Of course I wouldn't do that. Anyway, I've been kind of twitchy and weird all day since that happened.
Dirk and I slept ‘til noon, woke up, ate, went computer-ing, had that little incident, and goofed off. I got a call from Cathy at about 3, asking for a ride. She'd dropped her car off at an Exxon that was about 3 miles away this morning, and walked home. The repairs were finished, and she really didn't feel like walking through this heat to pick it up. I certainly don't blame her. I dropped her off, went home, Dirk was back on the computer, talking to Ken through IM's. I was mean last night, I sent him a scanned picture of Dirk and I standing on the Key Bridge in DC. Guess he didn't appreciate it--when I got Dirk to ask him about it, he just said he'd seen it.
C-- said he'll e-mail me tonight. Forgive me if I don't hold my breath. I'm losing all hope of salvaging our friendship, if we ever even had one.
Ken was offended by Dirk's Website. Not because of the obscenities, but because Dirk didn't ask him before he put their stuff (tapes) up for sale. Never mind the fact that they used to advertise their stuff in my ‘zine. I told Ken that he was just being a dick, since it's not like Ken would have disapproved anyway, and, let me remind you, Ken has been trying to sell these tapes for a while, with no success. He's just pissed because Dirk showed some initiative. Well, Ken wanted me to tell Dirk that he was offended. I told Ken, "Fuck off. I am not your go-between anymore. If you have something to say to Dirk, say it to him yourself. That way, you have a chance that he'll take it politely and not resent you for it."
To which Ken replied, "Okay, but whenever I confront him about something, it always ends in a standoff."
"Well, maybe you shouldn't be confrontational. Just tell him you were offended. Use a little diplomacy. It'll make him more receptive to your opinions."
I'm betting Ken wrote something condescending and sarcastic. If he did, trust me, I'm going to grind his ass into the ground. No-one talks/writes to my boyfriend like he's retarded. Especially not my ex-boyfriend.I spent a lot of time tonight alternately crying and being silly. I don't know what's wrong with me....I'm freaking out. Dirk was getting worried, because I was crying so much. I suddenly lost faith in my ability to pull through...it was like all my problems magnified a hundred times. Good thing I don't feel that way often. I'd have a nervous breakdown.
Well, damn. I thought that was the end of my entry, but I forgot a few things I'd like to remember. I tried using that "Sun-In" stuff today. For all the good it did, I may as well have sprayed my hair with piss. Dirk says that I have to be patient, that it takes more than one treatment for the lightening effect to be noticeable. Bull. The other stuff I used worked in one or two shots--lightened it completely. Why, oh why, did they have to stop making it?
Another thing is that when Dirk and I were driving around, we stopped at Sheetz so he could use the little boys' room. I handed him a buck & five and told him to get me a surprise. He got me blueberry poptarts!!! I love those things, but only the frosted kind. Especially the ones that have the little multi-colored sprinkles in the frosting. I can't believe he remembered my love for them!
Another thing, when we were parked in my car, beside the road (our favorite thing to do when everything's closed, but it still isn't my curfew---perfectly innocent, I swear.), I turned out the interior light when I was done reading part of my trashy romance novel, looked out through Dirk's window, and thought an alien was watching us. I freaked, and gave a soft little scream. All I could see was the silhouette of a head, peeking over someone's fence at us. After a few moments (during which I'd already awoken Dirk), I realized it was just a person, probably wondering what we were doing parked by the side of the road. So, we peeled out of there and found a less disturbing place to park.