The only good thing about working full-time is that I have an easier time of writing journal entries. My father came back from Norfolk today--not a good thing. My mother really goes psycho when he's around, especially if she's gotten used to him being gone.
Poor Dirk, he was over at my house, checking his e-mail (with my permission) when my father came home. Scared the hell out of him. He switched off the computer and fled out the back door. Dirk was also looking at Internet porn again---these pictures girls sent him over the week-end that he swears he didn't ask them for. I think someone should e-mail Dirk (e-mail link removed due to my boyfriend's complaints and threats) and tell him that it's not right for him to look at Internet porn, even if he doesn't find it the least bit arousing. What's he doing looking at naked chicks when he's got a Sex Goddess for a girlfriend? In reality, I am a bit hurt that he does this. I feel....threatened. A little.
Ken used to have a really huge interest in porn. Especially foot fetish stuff. He was almost proud of the fact that he used the stuff to masturbate; fairly often. God only knows what he was thinking of during sex. It always bothered me, but I didn't say anything. Disliking my boyfriend looking at porn would have been too controlling. Ha. He tells anyone who'll hear that I pussywhipped him anyway. Gee, I never even tried. Imagine what I could have pussywhipped him into doing had I actually realized I was doing it. Self-castration, perhaps?
Dirk's still e-mailing Ken....I think they're plotting against me. I'm worried that Dirk might actually start missing Ken, and decide I'm less important than Ken's whiny poetry. Guys can be stupid like that. Well, I read the e-mail Ken sent him, and it seemed to be nothing more than a query about what I'd said: that Dirk encouraged me not to send Ken's stuff back, and didn't actually like Ken. Certainly he has no respect for Ken as a person. As an artist and poet, yes. But never as a person. Ken e-mailed Dirk to find out if I'd been lying (keep hoping, Ken). And to inform Dirk that he had a lot of growing up to do if what I'd said was true.
I was feeling a little shaky and depressed after reading this, so I called Dirk. It's nice to be comforted. And Dirk agreed that I'd been absolutely truthful in everything I told Ken. He also reiterated what he said back when I'd dressed him down for going over to Krisco's house to watch that movie: that he'd never leave me, and the only way I'd get rid of him was if I dumped him. There are reasons I'm with Dirk besides his great body.
Dirk was late again tonight. I reined in my temper, though, and went over there. I wasn't even really mean to him. My self-restraint was rewarded--quickies are great. We went over to the place in Manassas. It's incredible. Dirk would be an idiot to refuse. Dirk might anyway, though. Honestly, men are so perverse! I mean, $300 a month is pretty good when you're not expected to pay utilities, the neighborhood's quiet, he can bring his cat, he can smoke, and best of all, the guy he's renting from has Internet Access and is perfectly willing to let Dirk use it--will even give Dirk his own mailbox on his account!
Dirk promised to take the place if he hasn't found somewhere in Dale City by tomorrow.
You know, I have the oddest song stuck in my head, and I can't remember where it's from
I'll swallow poison, until I grow immune
I will scream my lungs out till it fills this room
Don't laugh, but I think it's from a Pearl Jam song. Nedstat's fucking up again. Assholes. They need to die. I need my stats to feed my ego.Remember that that girl who flamed me in my guestbook? Turns out she didn't. Someone's been writing mean shit in other people's guestbook using her "handle" and/or linking back to her site. So, this is my official apology for anything unkind I may have said about her at the time. She seems to be a really nice girl.
I haven't been online at home in a couple days...wonder if Ken's been trying to frantically e-mail me to let me know how outraged he is?
Oh, I forgot, I almost had a complete fit while we were looking for the place in Manassas last night. It was such a small road, out in the virtual boonies, that half the maps didn't have it. And the people who lived/worked not a quarter of a mile away had never heard of it. We must have gone back and forth about 5 or six times. The assholes in charge of maintaining that development need to get their butts in gear. Half the street signs were missing.