Well, the highlight of my day was getting an extremely short e-mail from C--. Kind of sad, no matter how you think about it. It said:
hey skatter
how are things going..i realize i have been nothing but a selfish piece of shit lately, but it's not like i like that particular part of me
anyway i sent you a picture
bye
LOve
C--
I'm including the picture he sent me at the bottom of this entry. I'm not certain where he got it, or if he drew it, but I like it anyway.
I was awoken at 9 this morning by a phone call from Dirk. Krisco had just left his house after yelling at him for a full hour. Apparently, she'd broken into his e-mail account with hotmail, and hadn't liked what she read there. Dirk called to ask me to change his password, as soon as I got off the phone with him.
I did, and Krisco was online at the same time I was (I have her screen name listed on my "buddy list"). I couldn't resist the urge to taunt her just a bit, so I informed her that breaking into Dirk's e-mail account would only prove to everyone what a psychopath she is. I also pointed out that she could suffer legal recriminations, if Dirk wanted to take it to that level.
She responded by claiming that Dirk had been cheating on both of us, and that all this time, he'd been secretly treating her incredibly well, until she broke into his e-mail account. And, of course, she said that she'd had no choice but to break into his account to find "the truth".
She said a few things that were complete bullshit, such as Dirk had given her his Peavey Amp for Christmas. (He gave it to her in exchange for a delay pedal he really wanted, long before Christmas). She also said that the reason Dirk doesn't hang out with her on Friday or Saturday nights is: "He said he wasn't going to choose his girlfriend over his friends, that he made that mistake once and was nver going to do that again"
So, I asked her how she could have just taken that kind of treatment. Her response was that she probably deserved it for breaking up with him over a year ago. There's something very wrong with this picture, you know?
Krisco ended the conversation by claiming that she'd made a tape of Dirk and herself last Sunday. A tape of what? Them fucking? I doubt it.
My pet theory is that she's becoming desperate, since Dirk's not going to be living at home for very much longer. She won't be able to use his parents against him when he doesn't want her around. So, she's trying to screw things up as much as possible, as quickly as possible.
That didn't stop me from crying almost all day. I just want this to stop. Is that so much to ask for? I don't want to dread hearing the phone ring, wondering what sort of poison will be coming through the line, meant for my ears. I don't want to feel sick to my stomach whenever I check my e-mail, knowing that Krisco could write me at any time.
Thanks to Krisco telling them what she'd found in his e-mail account, Dirk's parents aren't speaking to him. So, he spent Easter with my family. We spent a lot of time on the 'Net, and washed all three of our cars. From about 4 p.m. until 8:30, I was fine. Then, I got depressed again, and started crying off and on until Dirk left at 10. I hate crying. It makes me feel weak, ineffective. I try not to do it very often.
I've been racing ahead of sleep to type this. It seems to have caught up with me....I hope tomorrow's better. The only good thing about all that happened today is that Krisco swore she would have nothing further to do with "that lying using asshole". That might last for about 3 days or so.
I don't believe what she says. It's complete bullshit, and I know that. Dirk's a good person, who's always treated me as though I'm made of gold. I don't know what's wrong with Krisco, but I just wish she'd go away, and quit trying to ruin everyone else's life.