<header>Diary 76</header>

04-18-98


Wow, apparently if I think about Ken too much, it's like a weird beacon. He called this afternoon, wanting to know where his stuff was. I informed him that I just sent it out this morning, and tried not to snicker. I can't wait until he gets Internet access.

He actually enjoys it when my life's going badly. I cannot believe this!!! What a complete asshole. He wasn't like this when I was dating him. I'd have remembered it. He was disappointed that I had nothing to complain about.

Ken told me something that I really didn't want to know, and I'm going to share it with you because I'm a sadist. Also, he's gonna have a fit when he sees that I put up this info on my web site. So read on at your own peril. I warned you! (It's gross)

Ken broke the gross news with a joke: "How do you get Whitney (his girlfriend) pregnant?"
"I don't know, how?"
"Cum in her dog's mouth!"

After some questioning, Ken revealed that Whitney used to let her dog eat her out (perform cunnilingus, for those who don't talk about sex much) on a regular basis when she was 13. He made me promise not to tell Whitney he'd told me this. I won't. I'll just let the rest of the Universe know he told me. Why did he tell me? It's gross. I didn't need to know. Really.

Better question: why did Whitney tell him? That's not something you admit to people, and admitting it to Ken is tanamount to posting it on a billboard for the world to see. He'll tell everyone, and then make them promise to keep it to themselves. Poor, niave Ken. Sucker.

I found the greatest little things in a gumball machine today...tiny ceramic mugs with cartoon animals in them. I've already gotten and elephant, a gorilla, a squirrel, and a tiger (of course). I'm not sure what purpose these things serve, but they're cute, which is all that matters. We kept going back to that store just to get them.

I also got the new Suicide Machines CD. Ken got it, and told me that it was awful, but how can you trust the judgement of someone who doesn't like Aerosmith or Crash Test Dummies? I loved it, and am going to wave it under Dirk's nose until I feel like letting him borrow it. It's a little less ska than their last album, with a little more Descendents/All influence (They did tour with them, after all), but it's still great.

Tomorrow is Dirk's birthday party. So far, I've managed to keep it a surprise. We went to get Dirk's birthday present (the guitar pickup). We had to order it, so it should be in by tomorrow.

The ad for new bandmates was in the latest issue of the CityPaper!!! I hope we get some calls soon, so I can shove it in Ken's smug face when he asks if I've gotten my band together.


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