I feel guilty....I haven't called my friend, Dalin, in a long time. I wonder if she thinks I've abandoned her? Truth is, I don't really know what to say to her. It seems her whole life is her girlfriend, and not much more. She's also gotten a renewed interest in magic, which I'm sorry to say I do not share.
I admit, I shouldn't have freaked so badly when we went to check out the new possible rehearsal space. I couldn't help it, though. When I'm driving in unfamiliar territory, I stress out. I also admit that I was out of line for refusing to have anything to do with the space when Dirk took my word on the fact that I didn't want to go in, and left me in the car.
That doesn't mean it's alright.
Dirk got mad at me for "acting like a cunt". I don't think he had any right to call me that. He also called me a "fucking moron". Alright, I'd progressed to the stage where I was pulling huge handfuls of my hair out, but still....
Anyway, the last straw, for me, was when he threw my car keys at me. Not just tossed them, but fucking launched them the way a pitcher throws a fastball. It hit me square on my upper thigh. I don't demand much, but I do demand that my boyfriend not use physical violence of any sort. Even if it is throwing my keys at me.
Anyway, the party almost got canceled. Dirk says I should just leave him alone when he's angry at me, but I couldn't. Not today. I didn't know if he would calm down in time for the Party.
For once, I don't even know what I'm trying to say. We could have broken up, it was that bad. I dropped my keys in his lap and dared him to do it again, and see what happened. I'm not afraid of him, but I don't know what to think now. It feels like something was lost.
I say that a lot, don't I?
I don't know how, but we made up...after inflicting emotional scars all over the place, though. Dirk was convinced I didn't want to be with him anymore. I'm sure Ken would say I'm being niave, but I honestly believe this is the worst that'll happen between Dirk and I.
Then we finished shopping for his party. It was only Katie and I, besides Dirk. It was fun, though. We re-watched Interview With The Vampire, ate too much ice cream cake, and ordered pizza. Katie and I embarrassed Dirk by singing "Happy Birthday" while he blew out the candles. Carvel is sneaky about their "ice cream cakes". There's no cake involved. Just a lot of ice cream.
I wish the party had been a surprise, though.
Oh, the nicest girl re-designed my index page for me. You should check out her site WebGoddesses. I'd marry her if the genetics had been different.