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Im a horrible person.
I know i said ugly things in the last entry. I feel bad about that, but
i did mean it, and i feel bad about that as well.
I feel bad inside
too. yesterday i assumed i was being pre-menstrual, today i know for sure.
It sucks. It also feels like the flu fever cold and sore throat altogether.
*gak* and the headaaaache. *whine*
Pain. abdomen spasming. my node id red and leaking. *sniff* ow my throat hurt. whyyyy....why now when i also have to deal with the menstrual nonsense.... wwhhhhyyyyyy...
I want my Mummy .
Mummy went back
to Singapore a few days ago, for the funeral of a relative, someone i'm
closely related to, but i don't know at all. I can't handle deaths. i just
skip right past the mourning to the memories, then i carry around this
bag of guilt at not being more distraught. I wouldn't be surprised if my
parents thought i was a heartless cold selfish stone.
I know im not though,
if someone i cared for were to pass away, i'd dig a hole in the ground,
or find a hollow tree and hide out for some time.
Right now, my father's been playing the role of single parent. Its so amusing. He's a very sweet father though, and wonderful at being guiltied into picking me up from parties at odd hours of the night. Last night for example~
Went for a friend's housewarming party. I thought it was going to be a small-scale cosy affair with a few friends, turned out to be a pretty cool one, with tons of beautiful hip people i didn't know. heh. It was in Paddington, which is sortof the artsy-fartsy happening suburb in sydney. Lots of the artistic and fashionably chic set. Beautiful people seem to wear mainly black and white, the guys have goatees and the girls have cropped blonde hair.
Anyway, i talked to a few people, and came to the conclusion i am So Boring. there was this guy who drew story boards for a living, u know, those sortof-rough-drafts of each film shot drawn on paper(paper?). Anyhow, he'd worked on stuff like Babe("im sick of drawing pigs. pigs pigs pigs. ugh") and the new movie Dark City. This was deduced after alot of shouting. He also looked like Anthony Edwards (the guy in ER, goose in top gun), except he had more hair. Anyway yours truly just went 'wow' and promptly forgot how to make small talk. Then i decided to stick with people i already knew and crashed on a sofa with wine in one hand and head in the other.
It was alright really, just felt out of place As Usual. heh. Im a social donkey <-dunno why donkey either but it sounds nice.
I have to go to school tomorrow. ick. *complain*
want to just lie down on soft soft warm bed and sink into subconciousness. mmm. Sleep is SO good. Waking up just sucks nowadays. Have to deal with my face. its just so great that one of the walls in my room is almost entirely mirror. YEARGH. My hair's also not here not there... on good days, its like a jennifer-aniston, except more active(Its Alive! Aahh!), and minus the glossy precision of styling product.
Okay. i have nothing
else to say.
Or maybe i do.
This coming thursday, i'm going to a disco-thing by the [queerest] name
of fluid
which is also Mambo
Night the II (i missed the first one), organised by the SSA
(s'pore students assoc. from UNSW). I'm going to this one because im trying
really hard not to be a loser. Also, someone bought me a ticket. Yep. I
don't know what to wear. I have nothing to wear. SHOPPING TIME!!!!!!!!
YeaH!
heheheheheh. oh brain hurt. ow. *clutch forehead*
Okay. now i really have nothing else to say. this is pretty daft, innit?
Nevermind. ow cramp. ow ow ow ow. uch.
Argh. back. Righto...
before i was so rudely interrupted by my uterus, i was about to put in
a photo of the prettier part of the view from my balcony, as seen at night.
My brother took this picture, which i was thinking of using as a background
for my NewAndImproved Blinking-Eye Page. Unfortunately, it'd prolly take
some time to download, which is irritating. But i put it here so u can
ooh and ahh and admire the pretty fairy fire lights.
