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Dear all, this page follows the previous by only
a day.
Someone was right. I am rather embarrassed about
it now. I can't quite believe that i could have written something like
that knowing full well that the guy wld've known quite immediately that
i was referring to him, not even counting in a guy's ego capacity. Oh well.
Safely, i can say im out of the heady rush of madness
that composed that page...I told someone yesterday i was on some sort of
rollercoaster of emotional flu. Well, right now i'm on a low after yesterday's
freefall. What is this loneliness that just hits you Bam right on the forehead
so suddenly. ? Its spreading and numbing, but makes you want to go out
and touch someone. I hate the radio music.
/
My parents are out for another of their dinners..
I refused to go and keep polite company with 6 mature adults so had a McChicken
for dinner...McDonalds seriously has foothold in the staple diets of kids
nowadays...its like a food group all by itself. Talk about success. They
should team up with Microsoft. The Golden Arched Windows...taking
over the world, consolidating a solid monopoly of McMedia... escaping Netscape's
escapade. Bill gates isn't a nerd, as a kid he was the stereotypical delinquent
who smoked pot and cut class. The nerd image is cultivated, but he is extremely
intelligent. Do not respect extremes or intelligence by itself. There are
so many different ways of intelligence, those that give insight, those
that pursue one-sightedness and those that see only within. The more intelligent
the person, the more prone to infidelity, to arrogance and self-superiority.
The cruellest persons were intelligent. The cruellest people i know are
intelligent. Never admire a cruel person, as brilliant as they may be;
if they can despise by status, respect reservedly. ..This classical
radio sucks too.
/
On Monday, i finished school at 1pm and spent a
lovely 3 hrs at the pool..Actually brought my homework to do there by the
poolside at these neat wooden benches/deck chairs. It was amazing going
for a relaxed swim then soaking up the sun in sunglasses...even made doing
chem seem pleasant. :) There were a few people who were there sunbathing
and reading/snoozing. Quite marvellous. One of increasing reasons why i
don't want to go back.
Doesn't seem likely i'll be doing that poolside
thing for awhile though, the weather's *finally* turning authentic autumn
albeit a month late. On Monday it was a sweaty sunburning humid 31'c and
Yesterday(tues), it was 21'c and the wind was so strong i couldn't open
my door. Glorious. I embrace the coming cold. Time to go shopping for long
sleeves~! *grin* Therapy..ahhhhhh....
Incidentally, the McChicken here tastes alot better than the one in
S'pore..something to do with pepper....love pepper....did u know black
pepper's an aphrodisiac? Chanced upon it in some new-agey article somewhere.
Under 'Ailments and their Cures'...*smirk* cardamom's another one...wonder
what that is.
/
Someone told me i shouldn't have said what i did
on the previous page.. but no one has suggested i change it, and im glad.
This stuff is about my life and that was the truth about my life on the
23rd of march...and this is the truth about me today. A suffocating crush
turned to amiable affection, a searing cold loneliness and solitude. you
pretty pretty perfect stranger, I doubt you'll actually see this page or
the page before anytime soon anyway. Not like it matters, remind me.
/
Anyone saw the Oscars? ridiculously long. Slept
3 hrs last night and i think i miss the old hours i kept in s'pore... I
miss the stress, the rush of rushing through due hmwrk between classes,
the idea that each and every minute is precious and worthwhile even though
school was such a waste of time. I miss the energy and dynamism, the forward
drive, the words 'achieve/best/moral' and i miss the clean corridors. Even
more than i miss the chilli crab.
Oh they're playing the titanic song on the radio
now...i'm almost dead sick of it...effect definitely wearing off. Celine
dion looked like she had her hair oiled and baked last night at the oscars.
And is it just me, or is Kate Winslet not so well received by the media
for some reason or another...(?) Personally, i adore her. I think more
celebrity women should have a figure like hers.
This page is black...black black Black~... my guestbook
died officially today and i did some minor renovations and tried to introduce
a black background on my newest successor to the guestbook casualties.
Quite immediately, someone tells me its horrible, and does that 5 times
for effect. So, the new guestbook is just as plain as simple as convention
dictates, and easy on the eye.... :) Best let the words do the colouring.
If you're reading this and you haven't signed my guestbook yet, please
do...lets me know you visited. Very much appreciated.
/
Oh yes...next thursday there's this Mambo night
thing organised by the SSA (s'pore students assoc.) and im mulling over
attending and making some new friends... Its as social an outing as can
be i suppose... but i'm not partial to discos, and its a late one, on a
thursday. ..The thing about living with your parents is that you worry
about them worrying about you rather than worrying about yourself. :P Still,
i might go..why, i don't know. I get to wishing sometimes that i could
just tell everyone how i feel about them, that i want to be closer friends,
that i want them, or that i get so lonely i could kneel on the floor and
cry. It just doesn't work that way.
/
Have to go try(again) to conquer the violin now.
Before ending off, i Have to thank Kelly, for being available to me at
my neediest and dare i say most exasperating. Ya.. Thanks you babe.
