The silly sights of love and the Odds on LiFe~

MY LIFE . . . . as of ...23rd march. righto.

Righto.
    Hello!!!
        Guess who's high?
                on what?
                    Don't quite know. Hrm.

Had a Lovely Day! la la laaaa..... little birdies singing sweet.... BLUR ROCKS!!! WOO HOOO!!!! (hahah!) :)
    Oh bleep. I cant write anything with Blur blaring in...darn it. *unplug headphones*.. ahhh. my laptop speakers are so shit. For the sake of coherency, I wonder why i bother.
    Whelp... Its a monday night..just spent the entire evening on the couch being irrevocably slobby. It has just occurred to me that i should not use words not clearly defined to my knowledge...could be embarrassing...but Heck with that! Im in Love!!! yes, no clear direct link there see my point?
    hahah! Okay so im not Actually in love...but Crushed. crush crush. Stupid word for a senseless feeling...hey was that an oxymoron? senseless feeling. harhar. oh i am So not funny. *sigh* This longing...an insatiable lust..nono, not quite lust...but want. Want sooooo Bad.
    Definitely, did not expect to meet someone like him, not Ever. Did not presume to think it was likely, knowing my life so far...*muse*... As such, this guy probably isn't as wonderful as i presume him to be after one brief encounter, but like logic ever appealed to such an insane emotion.
    Anyway, bearing in mind the remotest possibility my new-found daydream perchance upon this page, he shalt not be named. Why not? oh come On. i have a crush on him! That means having to suffer in silence while i review every single iota of encounter with him, where i analyse and digest and break down and paint, re-colour, reorganize, and appoint to each little aspect a meaning far too heavy to bear. The stupidness of it all. Its just half the fun. *mope*
    The other half is the having to deal with the coarse reality, which isn't quite so fun, but admittedly more sensible. More sensible than some of the stuff i've been scribbling during lectures anyway.. Anyone remembers this silly(:P) pseudo-fortune-telling method? where you write out the full name(or as far as you know) of the guy/girl you like and your name, and then you cross out all corresponding letters, leaving those unsimilar ones to tell the (ahem) true future of your (impending?) relationship.
    It goes like this.. there's this formula thingy..lets call it f(x)..nono..don't laugh...*stifled snort*... anyway, let f(x)=FCHL , where F=friendship, C=courtship, H=hatred and L=love. Seeing that there's only one unwanted variable (H), its no wonder this method's popular among those who've decided to believe in something other than sense, hypothetically speaking. Yes. Anyway, you follow the formulae along the remaining letters from both names, until you end at a letter... like if the remaining letters were say: IA TEA D OG, then the solution(think im taking this too far) would go like this: FC HLF C HL, effectively ending on L, Love. Which, all else considered, is a pretty good letter to end on. It means Love between the both of you.., as it did for me during the ideal fertilizer for frivolous frippery, the monday morning maths lecture. I've composed chinese poetry(!) during that lecture..and even decomposed a brain cell or two(who's counting)..But i keep digressing... Its Love! yes! Now i just have to wait to let fate take its course. (Newsflash! darn it all but after new information, it's turned out that we'll hate each other. Oh Well.) How cruel. Incidentally, anyone remember edwin? My new crush is far worthier (i wldnt actually know, never having spoken to edwin before, but i digress...). He's incredibly mature, far more than one would expect a guy of any age to be...and he's got the face of a sleepy just-woken-up hamster, quite irresistible. Tallish, intelligent, mature and adorable, I have no choice. As it seems, none other quite as choicey as he.
    There's so much I could say/rave about him, but keeping in mind the possibility he reads this, im not committing emotional suicide. not just yet. perhaps when my self-esteem has eroded down to its last grain, maybe then. (Wait! Super-new Newsflash! I dont think i have a crush on him anymore. Its amazing what a shower at 4am can do. I could be wrong. come back next week for the enthralling scoop on my miserable lovelife. i really *have* to sleep now..oh yawn.)
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\ To be utterly irrelevant, this is my fuzzybeck.jpg. I like the melancholy it exudes. \     Now, not to bore you further, maybe its too late,.. doesn't matter. I don't suppose i have much else to say. Oh about last week's page/article thingy, some people read it and thought i had some sort of breakdown due to stress and other evils..Well, i wasn't. 'Twas just throwing a tantrum, relieving some of that pent-up resentment at having to learn difficult chemistry, among other things..
One interesting comment i've been given about my homepage is that its got too much text.~ Another is that it's so very me. *grin*. Now this is like really interesting...its seems that this page mainly appeals to two groups of people: those who're like me, and those who like me; and rightly so, since it was written/designed entirely in the spirit of my likeness..., by ME! mwahahahahah.. An interesting psychological hypothesis you could squeeze outta this is that how you view my website probably reflects quite accurately how you view me as a person. *ponder* .. wooo. so deep. *gag* \     Its apparent i should end this off now, before it degresses into utter inanity... So, hoping all's well in Singapore...didnt read the straits times for a week and there're like 10 new acronyms im lost with. I forget.....Oh nevermind. To my gorgeous sleepy hamster face, hope you're single and partial to my memory, and to all my friends, i miss you bad. You all better not forget me. :) \
    Oh one more thing...this is Kree Man's latest offering on his deeply masticated thoughts on LIFE. Its got maths in it, i warned you. Enjoy~! \

Chance
-by Kree, unadulterated by Sÿn.

I'm sure everyone here has got an experience of taking tests consisting of multiple choice questions. And getting questions the topic of which you haven't the faintest idea of what the examiner is talking about. So you decide to take a risk, a chance, and by some incredible stroke of fate you actually get it right. (gee….. ok I can hear all these NUS medical students complaining away)

Well, guess what? You've already struck a lottery ten, a million, or perhaps more valuable than the Singapore Sweep just by the fact that you are sitting in front of a computer screen reading a bunch of junk you already know. No, what I mean by the lottery is not that you are fortunate enough to know me, but that you are alive, and well, normal by any sense of the word. Ok, so you snigger and say, "Right-o! here we've got another of them types who think they're bloody inspirational." No way, I'm not so optimistic (mostly because my guesses at MCQs tend to set me back by quite a hefty margin). In fact, all I want to do is to do some number crunching and perhaps we shall see where we end up?

Let's start recent. So, you are born and technically that means your father's sperm uniting with your mother's ova right? And in a typical ejaculation (Let's say the father gets it right on the first time…) he will ejaculate anywhere from 40-120 million spermatozoa. In fact, anywhere below 20 million and you won't be scolded by your parents for hogging the computer simply because you won't even exist in the first place! And mothers are born with a fixed number of eggs since birth so that's about an average of 300,000 to 400,000 follicles of which only 400 are lucky enough to expel their own ova (and give the females excuses to throw tantrums an equivalent of 400 times) throughout the mother's reproductive life. So let us try to keep things simple and assume that to become the individual that you are today you have to be the result of the fusion of one very, very hardworking sperm out of 30 million and one ova from a possible 400. So, that gives us a chance of 1 in 1.2¹⁰¹⁰ for you as an individual to be what you are today.

And that figure was just for one generation (i.e. just the possibilities of you becoming what you are by starting off with your parents genetic material). If we just move back in time just a teeny bit to include your grandparents we would have to calculate for three generations. For you, dear winner of life's great lottery stake, you have been picked out of a possible (1.2¹⁰¹⁰)(4+2)
(or 2.99¹⁰⁶⁰) other winners to be what you are today. Well, so we have already surpassed the Singapore Grand Sweep statistics already haven't we? But hang on, even after fertilisation the zygote has a very high chance of dying (guess the uterus isn't that friendly to life after all..). In fact, 50% of conceptions actually spontaneous abort (50% of which are due to major chromosomal abnormalities, for the nerds out there who really want to know). So that means we have to include another factor into our lottery chances, a factor of 2. Thus a safe estimate of you, your parents and grandparents surviving any major mishaps after fertilisation to end up with you as a unique person is actually 2.99^{1060^2}= 5.97¹⁰⁶⁰which I guess isn't really too bad
at all. (And I haven't even taken into account the number of mishaps that can occur anywhere along the way as you develop from a unicellular creature by mitosis to the person sitting on a chair staring blankly at the computer screen right this very moment) For anyone who has done a bit of biology in cellular differentiation you would know that almost anything can go wrong at any of the phases from prophase, metaphase, anaphase and telophase. And to spare my poor calculator from suffering an electronic heartburn I shall stop with the numbers here at this stage.

Let us switch to another perspective and see how many people it has taken for you to be in existence. Let's assume once again that there's a gap of 25 years separating each generation. Moving back a mere 200 years would give us 8 generations worth of human beings to contend with. So, over the span of 200 years, 28+27+ 26+ 25+ 24+ 23+ 22+ 21=510 people were subconsciously conspiring to create you. Now that is quite some conspiracy you have to admit. And that's not all. That means that 200 years ago 28 people had to survive so that you would be here today. We all know that in the timeline spanning 1300 to 1600 (or about 400 years ago) there was something called the Black death that swept across the world starting from China.
Which in effect means that 400 years ago some 216 or 65536 people had to survive the bubonic plague without the help of any penicillin or antibiotics or drugs so that you may exist. (And by the way that means you mother was right about getting you to do something useful with your life and not letting your ancestors down after all the trouble they've been through)

Wow. Some chance you had in the world's greatest lottery. And what are the chances of life starting spontaneously anyway? Someone had said that the chances of that happening was about the same as having a monkey type gibberish away on a typewriter and coming up with, by some freak random chance, a Shakespearean play. Check this out. So what's my point? Well, with such amazing luck we are having, we wouldn't really need divine intervention, .......or would we?