Here are some pretty groovy quotes from all sorts of sources.

I've credited the source where I know it - if you know one I don't, or if I have something wrong, let me know. I'm a Capricorn, I'm a stickler for detail. :)

"And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make." —Paul McCartney, from "The End" by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.

"It is not true that life is one damn thing after another — it's one damn thing over and over." —Edna St. Vincent Millay.

"If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun." —Katharine Hepburn.

"To err is human, but it feels divine." —Mae West.

"As far as I'm concerned, being any gender is a drag." —Patti Smith.

"Constant togetherness is fine — but only for Siamese twins." —Victoria Billings.

"He was a bold man who first ate an oyster." —Charles Dickens.

"You can't depend on your judgement when your imagination is out of focus." —Mark Twain.

"Seriousness is stupidity sent to college." —P. J. O'Rourke.

"I'll not listen to reason...Reason always means what someone else has got to say." —Elizabeth Gaskill, from Cranford.

"Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill." —Johnny Carson.

"It has long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things." —Elinor Smith.

"All serious daring starts from within." —Eudora Welty.

"Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. I can take it in small doses — but, as a lifestyle, I find it too confining." —Trudy, The Search For Signs of Intelligent Life by Jane Wagner.

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" —Steven Wright.

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing." —Agatha Christie.

"If you're going to do something wrong, enjoy it!" —Yiddish proverb.

"Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast." —Oscar Wilde.

"Real friends are those who upon watching you make a fool of yourself do not feel that the job was done permanently." —Anonymous.

"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative." —Oscar Wilde (attributed).

"Reality is something the human race doesn't handle very well." —Gore Vidal.

"Life is something to do when you can't go to sleep." —Fran Lebowitz.

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." —Anaïs Nin.

"Start every day with a smile and get it over with." —W. C. Fields.

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." —John Lennon.

"You either get it or you don't — I'm not going to spend my whole life explaining myself." —Frank Zappa.

"Love is the ultimate trip." —Micky Dolenz.

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and discover they were the big things." —Anonymous.

"How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone." —Coco Chanel.

"I cannot give you a formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure — which is: Try to please everybody." —Herbert Bayard Swope.

"It's not only who you know, but what you know about who you know that counts." —Mrs. C. Lowe.

"A home keeps you from living with your parents." —P.J. O'Rourke.

"I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time." —Charles Schultz.

"You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair." —Persian Proverb.

"It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own." —Jessamyn West.

"Enjoy yourself. These are the good old days you're going to miss in the years ahead." —Anonymous.

"A person will be called to account Judgment Day for every permissible thing he might have enjoyed but did not." —Talmud.

"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to the office." —Robert Frost.

"The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." —Benjamin Franklin.

"The family — that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape." —Dodie Smith.

"Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent." —Jean Kerr.

"It's not the men in my life that counts — it's the life in my men." —Mae West.

"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh." —W.H. Auden.

"You write a hit play the same way you write a flop." —William Saroyan.

"The important thing about your lot in life is whether you use it for building or parking." —Unknown.

"Play is for adults; for children it's serious business." —Unknown.

"The darkest hour is only 60 minutes long." —Unknown.

"Every life has its dark and cheerful hours. Your level of happiness comes from choosing which to remember." —Unknown.

"It's the little things that matter most. What good is a bathtub without a plug?" —Unknown.

"Remember the whale — when it is spouting, it is most likely to be harpooned." —Unknown.

"Time flies, but remember you are the navigatior." —Unknown.

"Time flies like the wind, and fruit flies like bananas." —Unknown.

"The old theory was, 'Marry an older man because they're more mature.' The new theory is 'Men don't mature — marry a young one!'" —Unknown stand-up comedian (female, of course).

"Every exit is an entrance somewhere else." —Tom Stoppard.

"Bats are what bird parents warned their kids they'd be if they didn't quit watching all those James Dean movies." —Jeffrey Kluger.

"The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused." —Shirley MacLaine.

Got a quote? E-mail it to me, please!!

Here's a list of one-liners someone mailed to me. They're attributed to Stephen Wright, but I know one or two of them belong to somebody else. Oh well. Check 'em out anyway.

I'm also compiling a list of bumperstickers, posters, pins, etc. that amuse me. The list as it is so far is here.

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Last updated on Tuesday, December 1, 1998.

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