Touch if you will my stomach
Feel how it trembles inside
You’ve got the butterflies all tied up
Don’t make me chase you
Even doves have pride...
They both reach for the same box of spaghetti, both of them too involved in their own thoughts to notice each other until they almost collide.
“Oh,” April says, stepping back.
“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, catches her arm so she won’t fall.
They pause a second as they finally catch sight of one another.
It’s him.
“April, right?”
“Right,” she says. “I...”
“Do you remember me?”
“I’d remember you anywhere,” she says, her shock turning into a smile. “What are you doing out here?”
”I live out here,” he says, smiling, leaning back to get a better look at her. Older, of course, but still beautiful... “What are you doing here?”
She laughs a little. “I live out here.”
“How long have you lived in California?”
“Years. I’ve been out here since the turn of the century... you too?”
“Yeah.” He laughs. “So how have you been?”
She takes a deep breath. “That’s a long story...”
“Well, he wanted to go out tonight, but we’ve got the awards... yeah, but he wants to take me to dinner tomorrow.”
”That’s fantastic,” Robyn says. “He can’t come along tonight?”
”Mike only got six tickets,” April tells her. “And we’ve got ‘em all... yeah, they’re kind of ticked we’re not bigger celebrities, I guess... Sophie and Andrew are gonna sit up front with Mike, and the rest of us are all stuck in the back.”
“Think he’ll win anything?”
“They say he’s got a great chance for Best Fight Scene,” April says. “Hold on, somebody’s at the door...” she opens it to Mike, who blows in like a tornado. “Mike, you won’t believe...”
“April,” he says, “have you seen Leo?”
“No. Isn’t he over at your place?”
“No, he’s not... dammit...”
“He’s still got time to get there, Mike--”
“April, the limo gets there in an hour, and he’s not even home yet?”
“Neither are you,” she says, trying to tease him.
He sighs. “Look, if you see him--”
”I’ll tell him,” she says. “Hey, Mike--”
“What?”
“Do you remember back when we were at the farmhouse, before Casey and I got together-- just before I left-- that who guy helped me start the truck?”
Mike’s fingers have become hopelessly tangled in the loops of the bow tie. He curses in frustration, picks the thing off his fingers, tosses it on the floor, takes it by one end and starts untying knots. “Raph,” he calls, “have you figured out how to tie this thing yet?”
“What thing?” Raph’s voice replies from the living room.
Mike starts walking toward the sound. “The dang bow tie...” He stops when he sees his brother parked on the couch, still not dressed, opening up a bag of Doritos. “You’re not dressed yet?”
Raph’s arms are crossed over his chest, and he’s got that stubborn pout he always gets when he’s ticked. “You didn’t tell me you gave her a ticket.”
“Oh, for chrissakes, Raph, she’s your ex-wife. She’s your kid’s mother, in case you forgot.”
“You coulda told me.”
“I didn’t realize avoiding her was your top priority in life.”
“You should’ve.”
“Yeah,” Mike says angrily. “I guess I should’ve. After all, I’m the one who picks Drew up at her house, ‘cuz you don’t have the balls to show up there...”
“Dad?”
”Sophie.” Mike’s anger dissolves. “Oh, you look so pretty...”
She’d insisted on dressing herself, and Mike admits to himself she did a pretty good job of it, though he has to straighten out a few ruffles and hitch up the straps of her slip. “C’mon, you did such a good job getting ready, maybe you can give your uncle Raph a hand, huh?”
Raph glares at him, but gets up. “C’mon, Sophie, let’s see how your ugly uncle looks in a tux...”
April leans over and whispers to Shadow. “You know, they used to call these the MTV Movie Awards.”
Shadow frowns. “What’s MTV?”
“Never mind,” April sighs, feeling old. “Hey, I think Mike’s up for this one...”
She jumps as someone gets into the seat beside her. “Have I missed anything?”
She turns to him just as Raph snaps, “Where the hell have you been?”
“One of my kids tried to kill himself,” Leo says. “I got here as soon as I could.”
“Oh, man...”
April asks, “Is he gonna be okay?”
“They’re afraid he’ll have brain damage.”
“Geez, Leo...”
“How’s Mike?”
“Flipping out.”
“I shoulda gotten here sooner...”
“How’d you find out?” April asks.
Leo’s eyes scan the crowd; he draws his hand over his head. “They found him in the dojo.”
“God...”
“And the nominees for Hottest Kiss are...”
“Hey, Mike’s up for this one, isn’t he?”
“Shh,” Raph hisses.
“No way they’ll win,” April says softly.
Shadow tilts her head thoughtfully. “It was a pretty hot kiss...”
“Um...” Mike squints at the spotlight. “Who should we thank?”
“The same people were were going to thank if we won Best Fight Scene?”
“I’m not thankin’ my brothers for lettin’ me kick their butts all these years,” Mike says, and a ripple of laughter passes through the audience. “Besides, what if we win Best Fight Scene?”
“Would they give both awards to the same people?” Agnes asks. “Maybe they mixed the ballots up.”
Mike shrugs his shoulders. “Well, whether they did or not, I say we keep it. Okay, I wanna thank everybody who needs to be thanked. So... consider yourself thanked.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Who says you need to be thanked?”
“Kissing is a two-way street,” she says slyly.
“All right...” he says reluctantly, grinning.
“And I’d like to thank everyone who needs to be thanked too...”
“You’re welcome.”
She rolls her eyes. “And everyone who voted for us, especially.”
“We should do something for them.”
She looks down at him. “Like what?”
"Well," Mike says, grinning, "give the people what they want, I always say..."
Agnes frowns at him. "Mike?"
He takes her in his arms, pulls her down to him so fast the audience doesn't even see it coming until they're kissing. When they finally come up for air she's ready to slap him until she hears the crowd, applauding and yelling and standing in their seats. Mike waits for the noise to die down before he leans back to the microphone.
He looks speculatively at the award. "So do we get another one?"
The crowd goes crazy. Agnes smiles in spite of herself, takes Mike's arm, waits for the applause to die down again. "I think we've hogged the stage long enough," she says, pulling him back from the podium.
"But look.” Mike’s face is all smile now. "They love us!"
"I'd like to keep it that way," Agnes grins, and the crowd laughs.
They walk off the stage, and Mike waits for the lecture, but it never comes. When they get back to their seats, she takes his hand. Mike doesn't know what to say to her, but he doesn't let go of her hand, cradling it in his, letting his fingers rest on hers.
“I’m gonna stop by the hospital and see how Matt is,” Leo says. “Tell Mike what’s going on, will ya?”
“Yeah, yeah, we will...”
“Glad I got to see him win. Tell him I’ll be in later tonight...”
April looks at him. “You’re not blaming yourself for this, are you?”
Leo looks upset. “I gave that kid a hell of a lecture the other night,” he says softly.
“Leonardo,” she says, “you can’t--”
”I gotta check on him,” he says. “Maybe it’s not my fault, but...”
“Leo,” she says. “You’re not responsible for everything...”
“I’ll see you later, April.”
Several high-profile parties and almost no chance for any conversation later, the limo drops them off at Agnes’ house. He gets out and walks her to the door.
“Hey, we got something new for the house, anyway... where ya gonna put yours?”
“I don’t know,” she says. “One of the higher shelves, where my granddaughter can’t get to it, anyway...”
“How old is she now?”
“Six. Just about your daughter’s age...”
“We should get the two of ‘em together sometime...”
“I think they’d like each other,” she says. “Well, goodnight, Michaelangelo. Take good care of that award.”
She’s about to close the door when he swallows his pride and asks. “Can I see you again?”
She freezes, opens the door a little more, looks into his face. “You meant that,” she says carefully.
“What?”
“That kiss. That wasn’t for the crowd at all...”
He can’t figure out what she’s thinking. “Agnes, I...”
“All right,” she says. “We’ll try it. Friday night?”
Two days from now. “Sure. You want me to pick you up here?”
“That would be fine. Seven?”
“I’ll be here at seven.”
Her name’s Karen, he can’t remember her last name, but he recognizes the light red hair and the face. A beautiful face, really, even now when it’s streaked with tears. “Karen?”
“Yes?”
“I’m Leonardo, Matt’s sensei... do you remember me?”
“Yes, yes, I remember... Matt thinks a lot of you...”
“How is he?”
“In a coma,” she says. “He could come out in an hour, he could never come out at all... I want to spend the night here, and they'll let me, but they say I ought to start going home for the night pretty soon. I need to get used to it, they say.”
“I’ve been talking to the others at the dojo, and we’ve been trying to figure out... how this happened...”
“So have I,” she says, so soft it’s hard to hear. “Ever since they called me.”
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Oh, hello again.” Karen smiles up at him. “What time is it?”
“Quarter to six.”
“It’s not my week. My watch battery broke, and my car’s broken down... can you tell me when it’s six-thirty or so?”
“Sure.”
“I have to leave by seven, that’s when the last bus leaves...”
”I can give you a ride,” he says.
Karen looks over. “Look, I don’t want to ask you to hang around here all night...”
“It’s almost six already. Have you had anything to eat yet?”
“Well...”
“C’mon, we’ll go down to the cafeteria, we’ll get some dinner...”
“Agnes,” Mike says, “look, I... I don’t want to cancel on you, but I can’t find Leo, and Raph’s taken off... would you mind if I brought the kids?”
“Your daughter and your nephew?”
“I’m sorry Agnes, I...”
“It’s all right,” she says. “Come on over.”
“So you got divorced...”
”Three years ago,” Karen says. “He comes up once in a while, when he feels like being a father again. I called the night it happened to tell him and got his machine...”
“And you still haven’t heard from him?”
“He takes trips,” she says, waving her hand dramatically. “Could be months before he even gets the message, let alone gets around to answering it.”
Agnes leans over and asks the kids, “Where should we eat?”
“You should never ask ‘em that,” Mike grumbles.
“We wanna eat at Psycho Burger,” Sophie says.
“Psycho Burger?”
They nod.
“Guys,” Mike says gently, “I don’t know as we’re exactly dressed for Psycho Burger...”
“That’s all right,” Agnes says, grinning. “As long as you let me play a game...”
Raph hunches down further into his seat as the bus approaches the stop. He knows half the men on the bus by now, all taking the same trip. He wonders what brought them there. He tries not to think too much about it before he starts asking himself the same question.
Mike spears more lettuce onto his fork.
“Have you always been a vegetarian?”
He shakes his head. “Nah.”
“So why--”
“Started when we came back from...” he tries to think of the right word. “Exile. I ate mostly vegetables out there, but we were always down to meat by spring...”
“So it was after you lost Rachel.”
He nods. Lost, Mike thinks to himself. Such a nice way of putting it, like we put her down somewhere and forgot... He closes his eyes and drives the picture from his mind, the one that always comes back, of April on the floor and all the blood...
Sophie gets up from her seat and he focuses on her. “I’m gonna go in the Terror Tunnel, okay?”
“Okay.”
Sophie grins manically and runs off in the direction of the Terror Tunnel, a labrynthine maze of loops and whirls and scary sounds.
“She loves the Terror Tunnel,” he says.
“It does look kind of fun,” Agnes says, smiling at him. “I bet Andrew would like to go through, too, wouldn’t you?”
Andrew nods, crumbs from his Psycho Burger dripping off his chin.
“Well, I don’t want to leave you--”
”Who said anything about leaving me?” She stands up. “Come on...”
He watches her lift his nephew out of the high chair to the Terror Tunnel, in her two-inch heels and pearls and knee-length skirt. He gets up, follows her over to the entrance. “You sure?”
“Sure,” she says. “It’ll be fun.”
“I could really learn to love you,” he murmurs under his breath, watching her helping Andrew into the tunnel entrance.
“I think Nadia was the reason he started with the martial arts.”
“Nadia?”
“His sister. She was murdered,” she says. “She was just about the age Matt is now...”
She closes her eyes. “There were these kids at her school. Not a gang, not really, just a bunch of kids who hung together and made the others’ lives miserable... one of them started liking Nadia, and she kept turning him down...”
He puts his hand on her arm.
“They raped her,” she says, opening her eyes but not really seeing. “And they beat her so badly... the man who found her saw rats, all these rats in one place, and they were... she was still alive then, that was the worst part...”
He moves closer to her, gets his arm around her, and she reaches down and squeezes his hand. She blinks away the tears forming in her eyes. The emotion’s gone from her voice, but the pain is so visible in her face Leo can feel it. “She’d lost so much blood. By the time they finally got her to the hospital...”
She closes her eyes again, covers her face with her hands.
“We hid from it,” she says after a long time. “We just were getting more and more isolated... and I don’t know, I guess you don’t realize how bad things have gotten until...”
“That sounds familiar,” he says softly, an edge of bitterness in his voice.
She wipes the tears from her eyes and looks at him. “Tell me.”
“Brandy, come check this out,” Melissa says.
“What?”
Melissa opens up the magazine and points the picture out.
“Oh, the movie awards, yeah... that’s his brother, but...”
”That,” Melissa says, pointing, “is his ex-wife.”
“So?”
Brandy looks at her. “Whaddya mean, ‘so?’”
“So what’s your point?”
Melissa grabs her friend by the arm and walks her to the mirror. She holds the magazine up to Brandy’s face, so her reflection’s side by side with Shadow’s photograph. ”That’s my point.”
Brandy stares at her reflection, then back at the photograph, then back at her own face.
“Brandy,” Melissa says bluntly. “You could be her fucking twin.”
He’s only been at her house for half an hour and he’s already stayed too long, drunk the coffee she offered, told her about Elaine. Told her too much.
Stared at her too long...
She put some music on a while ago, and now John Mellencamp is growling “Hurts so Good.” He can hear her humming along, a little out of tune, lowering the blinds for the night. One of them’s putting up a fight.
“You want a hand?”
“Sure,” she says, “not having much luck by myself...”
He reaches around her and takes the cord, and they pull together until they get the blind lowered.
And he realizes how close their bodies are.
Neither of them move.
You don’t have to get so excited
Just tryin’ to get myself a little bit of fun...
He’s trying to keep his voice steady. “Karen, I...”
“Leonardo...” Not even inches away from him at this point. He can feel the heat from her body and it’s driving him crazy, he can’t believe how much he wants to touch her...
“I’m your son’s sensei,” he says carefully, “we shouldn’t...”
She shakes her head. “Not exactly the best time to get involved, either.”
Hey baby, it’s you
Come on, girl now it’s you...
I should go home, he thinks, give Raph a hand with the kids. Maybe take a cold shower...
She reaches back and her hand brushes his thigh.
Sink your teeth right through my bones, baby
Let’s see what we can do...
His hand rests on her arm, his other arm wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer.
He lets his face move toward her neck, breathing softly against her skin.
She leans back into his body and moans, both hands gripping his legs now, moving up his thighs.
His breath is coming hard now, and his hands move to her shirt, pulling the fabric out of her jeans and getting his hands on the soft skin below. He slides his hands up her back and unhooks her bra, just as her fingers reach the edges of his shell.
C’mon baby, make it hurt so good
Sometimes love don’t feel like it should
You make it hurt so good...
“That was very gallant of you to crawl behind me in the Terror Tunnel,” she says wryly.
“Well, you wouldn’t want some stranger looking up your skirt...”
“Oh, no, not when you can do it,” she teases.
“Well,” he says, teasing back, “I am your date...”
“Seriously,” she says, “did you look?”
“I... didn’t look,” he says. “I might have... noticed a little once or twice, but I wasn’t looking...”
She laughs, leans down and kisses his cheek.
“Thanks for helping me with the kids. They always have so much fun when they go out they’re kind of a pain to get down...”
“I didn’t mind, Mike. I’ve been having a great time, really.”
“I’m sorry I can’t take you home, but I can get David up to take you back in the limo, or I’ll get you a cab or something...”
“Mike,” she says softly. “I’ll stay if you want me to.”
He looks into her face, reaches up, touches her cheek. “Thank you,” he says, “I... I’d like it if you stayed. But... I’ve got the kids here, and... I just... is it all right if we take our time?”
“Of course.” She smiles, and pulls his face up for another kiss. “But I can stay longer... you always promised me you’d show me that terrible first movie of yours.”
“Okay.” He takes his arms from her reluctantly, walks over to the disk player and types in the title.
“So... do your brothers stand you up often?”
“Leo never does, but I figured Raph would be around tonight so I didn’t ask him to stay...”
“You’re worried.”
“I shouldn’t be. He’s pulled this enough times before.”
“He does this all the time?”
”Every couple of months. Since Don died and he and Shadow split up. He just... goes. We don’t know what the hell he does. Sometimes it’s hours, sometimes it’s days...”
He pushes the nightgown over at her. “This is for you. You don’t have to wear it now. Just wanted you to have it.”
Brandy stares at it dully. He scares her, though she never wants to admit it. “Look, I don’t know...”
“Look, if you don’t want it, give it away or something, okay? Should fit, anyway.”
“Am I your wife’s size, too?”
He glares at her. “I asked Melissa what size you were, if you really want to know,” he says coldly. “And don’t mention my ex-wife again.”
“They’ve given up,” he says, trying to hide the anger in his voice. “I mean, Leo almost got together with this woman, she was really sweet, and he just... they’re both so angry and so bitter and so... I don’t know, they just, they won’t even bother any more.”
She puts her hand on his arm.
“I mean... God, I miss Don. There’s days I keep expecting to hear him, or to see him, and I pick up the phone at seven o’clock and half of me’s thinking it must be him, he always called around then... but... but I can’t stop. I can’t stop living... because... because I won’t give up. I can’t. The last thing he’d want is to see us moping around this place like a bunch of lonely jerks...”
He sits up. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking like that...”
“It’s all right,” she says, slipping her arm around him now. He pulls her further into his arms and closes his eyes, trying to lose his doubts and his fears in the spicy smell of her shampoo, the soft feel of her skin against his arm.
--end chapter five--
On To Chapter Six