Top 20 tech support no-no's
- Try to sell home-made LSD to caller.
- "Still not used to this whole electricity thing, huh?"
- Proclaim your undying love.
- Advise the customer to lick the power supply.
- "So,what are you wearing?"
- Constantly refer to caller as "Pumpkin".
- As you look up a part number, whistle loudly in a monotone.
- "You've got to be kidding."
- "What you do is get yourself 50p and go and buy a clue."
- Use baby talk.
- "I don't get paid enough to deal with jerks like you."
- Ridicule the inadequacy of the caller's system.
- "Yo no hablo ingles."
- Use metaphors based on your experiences with rabid dogs.
- Laugh maniacally.
- Twist the callers words to make it seem as if there is no
problem.
- "You're screwed. You're just screwed."
- Encourage the caller to pound on the CPU casing.
- Try to set up caller with your second cousin.
- "How the hell did you get access to a computer?"
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