'Accident' involving 3 large Italians in pin stripes...

10-story fall

Crucifixtion

Heart attack

Impalied on the Eiffel Tower

Disembowlment

Attacked by a mob of fashion enthusiasts who are appaled by his grotesque haircut and archaic fashion sense

Asphyxiation

Taken by the secret service to the White House and later killed by them because of Bill's frustration at having mistaken him for a woman (a common mistake)

Stabbing

Ebola (Not a mild case...........we're talking guts coming out his nose here)

Eaten by cannibals who gain very little protein from his lanky, weak and malnurished figure.

Spontaneous Human Combustion

20-story fall

Ingestion by vicious, angry, unrelenting crocodile

Regurgitated by said crocodile and consumed by alligator

Starts to choke on an Altoid and is killed by the moustached woman who tries to administer the heimlick manuever and ends up crushing him.

Electric chair (set past medium power, past high power, all the way to 'Extra Crispy')

Rat poison fed through a Pez dispenser

Killed by angry aliens who cannot conduct their intelligence experiments on him because of his lack thereof

Blood loss after castration with a wooden spoon

Explosion of head

30-story fall

Falling into a giant, 6-story, man-eating, solar-powered industrial strength meat grinder and being processed into tiny, non-descript, unidentifiable, bite-sized pouches.

Miraculously surviving a catastrophic earth quake, spending 8 months in a hospital and 3 years afterwards to gain a full recovery, only to be killed by a paper cut.