The Legacy
of Spork
The Legacy is the collection of texts that tell the saga of the Spork, amung other things. It was first written by Jobu, the imortal bard of the Utensils. I, Frogurt am in the proccess of adding my own chapter to these stories, but that will not be done for some time, so I will only tell you the beginning for now.

It all started on Gobatheron, a distant planet before the first humans were even concieved. One tribe was gifted by the Spoon, they prospered into a golden age rather quickly. Some derivatives of the Spoon are shovels and hammers, building and expanding was a large part of their culture. They were known as Spoonits.

The Forkers however, used their utensil for hunting and militious acts. They created a voluminous force which they planned to use against all who opposed them. Tridents, spears, and ballista were inventions of the Forkers. Of course there were Knifians, but they were always so diverse and chaotic they never accomplished much more than the sword, although they made quite a few of them.

The Knifians had always caused trouble but one night they decided to raze and pillage the Forken capital of Forkonopolis. The Forkers were outraged, so the wisest Knifian (who happened to be the leader) blamed it on the Spoonits. The Knifians offered to help the Forkers attack the Spoonits, and thus the Silvar War was started. Unfortunately, the Spoonish leader, Magzerrab, would not allow his people wo take arms. When the Forkers launched an attack one night there was little resistance, and Magzerrab was killed. Although at the time it seemed like all was lost for the Spoonits, one man was ready for such an occasion, with his own militia on the guard. This man was Spoonicus, and although no one is sure why he had the army stashed away, it was this force that gave all Spoonits hope.

Spoonicus and his militia struck back that night, and the counterattack caught the Forkers and Knifians just enough by surprise so they were forced outside of the city. Many battles ensued after this, but alas, the Spoonits just could not withstand the fury of the Forkish weaponry, even though at one point the Knifians allied with the Spoonits. The Spoonits were forced back to the fork of the Spoon River, with little to eat. One day they discovered something new, and this fruit the was in plenty, they called it the grapefruit out of lack for a better name. Unfortunately, they didn't have anything to properly eat this new food with. One day a brilliant Spoonit had an idea, why not make a serrated spoon that would bite into the fruit. They crafted this utensil, donned it the "grapefruit spoon" and were no longer hungry. Then they thought of a simular tacict for their weaponry, combine the traits of spoon and fork. Although these were only ancestors to the Spork, they were enough to win the war for the spoonits. In the time of peace that followed, the Spork was created.

The Spork has traveled much since then. To the galaxies of "Star Wars" to the vile company of Ultratech, to the lofts of SoHo. What we are in is known as the "Third Chapter of Sporkism" by Jobu. This shall be a new peak for sporksters, but only if we all work at it.

That is the Legacy thus far. It will be updated as well as added onto. So make sure to check back periodically, or mail me at frogurt@geocities.com.


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