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i can still recall the day i first saw her. how long as it been since that day? time has shifted, slipped away, into meaninglessness...
i hardly even know her - which i think is partly why she's so indifferent to me. Perhaps we should meet. But how?!? A date? How predictable!...
some would say this is infatuation. some would say my infatuation is too irrational as well,
but isn’t that exactly what makes this so pure? |
We haven't even met yet!!
she only knows my name - my face - my stumbling awkwardness that occupies the day.
and i do not need to know whether she likes roses, so i can buy her roses, or whether she likes broccoli so i can send lil' broccoli endearments through the mail.
not that i wouldn't, mind you. i long to, dream of it, crave it, and so aspire share again! my broccoli endearments are so neglected.
i should have told her then, but i thought there would be time.
that was before.
"They say that
heaven is like TV: |
|
Strange angels. Singing just for me. |
|
and I looked up and there
they were: millions of tiny teardrops just sort of hanging there. And I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. And I said to myself: What next, big sky? |
|
Strange angels. Singing just for me. |
........
i often wonder if she knows she holds the cure. sometimes i am not
even too sure myself... but i believe she does... and so she
does.
but here is the problem - i need her to believe too.
faith is a peculiar thing,
isn't it?
it's true - i do believe in angels, and not just the "tuck-you-in-so-you-can-sleep" radiant passive blonde superwomen that our parents used to tell us about when we were children. actually i read somewhere that all the Biblical angels, except one, were men - which can be construed as equally sexist by the feminists and those-who-want-better representation groups. funny - the battle of the sexes continues even to the extent of the afterlife!
no, my angels come in all varieties - all shapes and sizes - and serve the world, including me in a variety of ways.
lately i am being visited frequently by the Angel of Brandnames and Kitchen Appliances. i have no idea what gender this angel is for fear of the consequences of looking up it's robe. this angel likes to come and throw toasters at my head, and things like that.
i never was very good at heeding warnings - especially violent ones. nevertheless, i have come to respect this angel highly, if not for it's ability to float through walls, then for its aim.
The 13th is attempting to starve me to death - to destroy me. Like a giant dragon, he draws his breath from the very vacuum of space then burns me with the exhale. And this is only the beginning... The 13th is old, perhaps always old - an old that goes full circle and emcompasses all that is young as well...
what new shape will take form, if shape at all, i do not know.
the sun is out today. the sky is a radiant blue colored by the sounds of birds. ...and i do not care. it is the same sky as before. everything's too much the same today. The 13th is boorish and dumb. I want to kick him in his bloated ass.
Somehow i think i have made the wrong impression..it's up to him now, and all he does is write to her!?!
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Writing ©1998 Bob Rehor