"Things are as bad as they seem." HaydenWell, y'all are NEVER going to believe what I did this time. I mean, REALLY, it's even worse than anything I ever did before. What is it, you ask? Did she do something related to The Moron? Did she piss someone off? Did she mess around with another old guy?
I really can't believe that this night has happened. My God. I frighten myself, I really, really, really do.
The day started innocently enough, with (as of yet, a few) people from the English mailing list moving to the school's newsgroup. Those things are very weird. I go to class. Then I go to the Whole Earth Festival (yes, I'm staying this weekend- but the parents are visiting Sunday. Which is good, because I REALLY NEED MORE MONEY!)
So far it was very cool. I wound up buying lots of jewelry, 
including frog earrings, this gorgeous rock pendant and ring. Spent $50. Yikes. I shudder to think how much is in my wallet now.
The WEF (aka Davis Hippie Day) was at first like a crafts fair (the jewelry), but with a lot more tie-dye, vegetarian food, more psychics and hemp. I walked by the hemp booth and started sneezing for 20 minutes straight! Anyway, at first it was pleasant- had an eggroll, made a garland, was in a parade (with people singing "Follow the wisdom of the rainbow owl!" What does that mean?)- geez, maybe I am a hippie? Anyway, there were a lotta rastas/dreadheads/weirdoes there. Very strange to see them in this town. Heck, at some moments I even forgot I was on campus.
Anyway, I was sitting around idly watching some boring speaker on the river go on and on while waiting for 5:00 to come round (I wanted to go take juggling lessons), when (I will refer to him as Juggler Man) came by looking for directions, I directed him to the stage. Actually, he reminded me of my dad's friend (creepy thought)- short (er than me), getting gray, mustache, about the same age. (Remember this, I will come back to him later.)
I go back to watching, and I idly look at some guy walking by who's wearing a rooster hat on his head. Well, he starts to think that was a comeon or something, because he starts hanging around with me. (I will call him Rooster Man) Introduces himself, 27 years old, says he wants to be a vet/travel/screw off, etc. Also compliments me on my looks. He leaves and comes back several times, one of them to get stoned. He asked me if I wanted some (I'm already weird and prone to hallucinations), no thanks. I wound up babysitting the guy's stuff for awhile there (thinking how my mom would just looove to kill me for that one). Later on some guys came by and were asking me if I knew where the weed was. Now THERE'S irony for ya, folks. Being asked where the weed is on a school campus that's NOT in Santa Cruz or Berkeley. Man, talk about irony. Anyway, after the guy leaves for like the fourth time and doesn't come back for a half-hour, I get bored and leave, thinking that if I stuck around, shit, I may wind up dating him. For the record, my standards are this: I will date any guy who asks me, that doesn't make me vomit to look at him. Now that's scary, folks.
So I go to get juggling lessons and run into Juggling Man again- get lessons for an hour or so, then he asks if I want to get something to eat. Well, Ithink that means that "let's go get something at a stand and then go back to juggling". As it turned out, he meant that as, "let's go on a date". Went out to a restaurant and to the movies (City of Angels- depressing ending). In which he got um, very touchy-feely. Which really continued in the car. And I discovered that it is quite possible to make out seriously with some guy you don't care about or am even attracted to. I didn't give him my number (or last name for that matter)- and on the one hand while I'm certainly glad I didn't give it to him (I know that I don't want this to continue), on the other hand I felt kinda mean, especially when he figured that he'd never see me again (well, what could I say?). I'm thinking about not going back to the festival tomorrow the way that I wanted to just to avoid him. I feel like such a guy- no emotions involved, being a user, not going to call- yikes. I started spouting Moron excuses, for god's sake! Is that how he felt with me? And while I do like knowing that every guy after The Moron is a spit in his face (sadly, this is pretty much why I date- I like dates better after they're already over. The more in the past, the better the date!), nobody's as good physically as he is with me. And that's kinda tragic.
Well, I'm going to bed. ALONE. After taking a shower and washing that man right off.
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Page last updated: May 8, 1998.
If you know why these old guys are just so attracted to me and the ones my age aren't, PLEASE let me know, especially if you know of a way to avoid this . . .
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