"I waited and waited, and when no message came, I knew it must have been from you." Ashleigh BrilliantIf not for something that occurred today, I would have written this post about how I spent all my money yesterday on jewelry, clothes, and shoes (I'm broke but look GOOD). Or on how I had to write two papers last night and it sucked. Or how Anna, completely disobeying what I said, read the page (she likes it! And by the way, HI ANNA, I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE!).
But no.
I have some news.
When I got home today I found a message on my voice mail, saying (kinda sheepishly, IMO) "Hi Jen, this is (Moron's name), I was just calling to talk to you, I'll try again if I get off work early tonight, if not I'll try sometime tomorrow, talk to you later, bye."
As you can imagine, my reaction was to start screaming into the phone, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE LAST FRICKING YEAR????" Unfortunately voice mail doesn't answer THAT one. Lisa and Elena heard me screaming all the way down the hall.
Hmmmmmm. Wonder if he finally got the e-mail? Is this spontaneous? I DOUBT it, to say the least. Then again, I believe nothing, trust no one, and I'm still shocked that there's a message on my voice mail. And just when I'd been thinking that I was getting over this bizarre fixation with the perpetually ditsy (Anna, what did you call it? I like guys to be dumb like me? So true!).
Another weird coincidence is that I was taking the bus home today and when it stopped at my stop (for the record, I'm the first and last stop on the route), I discovered that my backpack strap was wedged TIGHTLY in between the seats, and I didn't get it out in time to get off (took like 10 minutes and three people to get it out!), so I got home 25 minutes later than I normally would today. What I mean about that is that after I got the strap out, I started thinking how this had been a pain in the ass and was just making me later to get home, check the e-mail, etc.- and then I started thinking of that Sliding Doors movie (which I want to see): Does what time I get off the bus today really affect my future? There was some debate about this in high school English one year (do you remember this, Anna?): is your stepping in gum (or any small thing) affected by fate? Somebody said that stepping in gum or something like that may lead you to the love of your life or something like that. And in the movie, which subway Gwyneth takes affects the course of her whole life. So I started wondering if that would be true, or if I was just kidding myself and I'd just do the normal routine when I got home anyway. And I remember thinking sarcastically, "Yeah, wouldn't you know it, like I betcha The Moron would call on the day I'm late home." Then of course I snickered it off- but then- well, surprise . . .
Which makes me wonder: Will my not being home when he called really affect what goes on IF he calls back? Like, say that he was going to dump on me Call #1, but something changes things between then and Call #2 so he no longer wants to dump on me. Or of course and more likely, vice versa (sigh). Damn, I am curious about so much stuff.
(Look Anna, here's the cat!)
So . . . I'm really wondering what will happen next. Will The Moron retain his lone brain cell for long enough to remember to call me (or will he get off of work, ick, to be able to do so if he remembers)? Will he have checked his e-mail? Will this be yet another dump speech (I learned from the best)? Will I feel the need to get a semiautomatic and shoot the house down? (The likely answers: hah, who knows, yes, and hell yes)
Well, I'm going to get off the Internet soon (thank God I have no homework for once), and go watch some TV, while doing the traditional girly thing (gag) of waiting for the phone to ring. (And if it's some idiot looking for Lisa I will kill him/her) If nothing's added to this tonight, you'll know what happened . . . Signing off, 7:43 p.m.
11:40. Well, as I'm sure all of you predicted, nothing. Yeah, yeah, I know it coulda been work. Whatever, I don't trust him, I don't believe him, blah blah, I certainly don't think he'll call back.
Sarah and Hardeep came over tonight, we went to Subway and then watched Ally McBeal.
A sidebar on that show: Personally, I'd rather shoot myself in the head, no joke (less painful and a lot quicker) than tell someone who I wasn't at least 95% sure that it was mutual that I loved them. Talk about embarassing for Biscuit. Although he handled it well, god that's icky. Reminds me of my mother (speaking of another soap-operatic life in her teenage years) told her boyfriend in high school she loved him and he never spoke to her or saw her again. Well, until it was a few years later and she was engaged . . . then suddenly he comes back into town . . . she blew him off. Okay, back to what I was saying:
Sarah thought that his calling was a hopeful sign- "he must want you somehow if he called you." I just 
and said, "Oh, please, he's just going to dump me permanently." Now I am thinking he got the e-mail, because why else would he bother to call me? I was griping about his work and they thought I should talk to him about it. I repeat, . If I thought that would do any good whatsoever I would. But I can't dictate his life (I wouldn't like it if he did that to me, so why would I do it back?) and he won't and doesn't want to change a thing. Bleech. I'm back to thinking in the old ways again! I thought I was over this! I thought I was numb! I thought I didn't care- but I still spent the night all nervous that The Dump was coming. And the only call I got was from Mommy. I am pathetic.
Links to other sites on the Web
Lorraine's Animation Creations (heartrow)
Graphic Station (phone, lightning, ? mark, bus, rolling eyes)
Icon Bazaar (email, frog)
Animation Factory (hoppin' frog)
Animation Station (cat)
Page last updated: May 11, 1998.
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