Two Years Later

My Soap-Operatic Life

"Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired." Robert Frost

2. Also found a new board that The Tide/Spotfans people (my other boards) have flocked to at Creative Light.

Next: Solar System Lecturer Review #2: The Vaguely Cute Guy In Birkenstocks.
Okay, his name was Alan Something-long-that-started-with-an-O-I-think, but whatever, I'll refer to him as VCG. Also, I found out Scottish Guy's name was Cowan. Whatever. Anyway, while VCG was a bit easier on the eyes, he was even MORE clueless as to how to work the equipment, and I hadn't thought that was possible. First, he wouldn't put an entire overhead sheet on the overhead (there was an inch of space at the top, for crying out loud!). Then he tried to show the overhead and slides at the same time. Incidentally, he showed the slides with the lights ON, then wondered why he couldn't see anything. Finally someone tells him to turn them off, but he leaves the overhead on. "How does he ever see-" "Turn the overhead off!" Sheesh. While I'll give this guy credit for knowing more about the moons of Saturn, he gets a D for equipment management. How do these people manage their own classes? I also found out I got 55/75 (or something similar to that) on the last midterm. Waaaah!!!

Next: French Test.
Until I forgot how to do the subjunctive (something I'd looked at for a half-hour, going "God, this is easy!"), it WAS going well, except for the lecture section that nobody understood whatsoever. I'm guessing another D.

Next: Moping.
After looking at Breakup Girl's advice column again (why do I look here? It only depresses me how healthy and "get-back-on-the-horse, dump-everyone" she is. Shit, there was one letter asking how to get an ex back that you were going to the prom with- something that actually happened to me- and I did the exact opposite of what BG said (she said dump his ass and go w/a girlfriend, I went with the ex and got him back, as it turned out temporarily). Anyway, back to what I was saying), I got depressed. It was on proms (everyone but me getting to dress up and dance is already a depresser), and that reminded me that June 1 two years ago (hey, it's an easier date to remember! I'm not even sure when MY prom was now) was when all this started with The Moron. And it went much better than it did now. I didn't even know that he was a jerk then. Kinda ironic how I just wrote in the letter that I wish that night had never happened . . .

Now you see, if I was really living in a fantasy world or novel (the way I've always wondered), I'd be getting the George Bailey treatment after saying that. Or what I'd prefer is the Peggy Sue (as in "Peggy Sue Got Married") treatment, in which I could go back and try to undo that chain of events so that they never happened. I think I'd prefer that. I only wish I could. In a way I still wish things were like that, and that I was still talking to him. That the phone would ring right . . . now.
Okay, nothing happened. And yes, I am nuts- whyever do you ask?

Anyway, the one interesting event today that occurred was the massage workshop in the lounge tonight. Now that, y'all, is the way to spend the anniversary (or whatever you call it) after your breakup- a nice form of revenge, if only he knew- getting massaged by some vaguely cute guy while wearing a short sleeveless dress, as it creeps up, and up . . .

Droolin' yet, boys? =)

Well, I didn't make that up about the dress- note to self: next time they do massage, wear shorts and NO jewelry- or the guy. Well, from the neck up he was just okay (vaguely reminds me of a guy in workshop, but the workshop guy is cuter), but he had a hot bod . . . mmmm . . . I got to massage it for awhile . . . mmmm.

NOT that this was mutual or anything- as usual- and I was looking as good as I get when not at a prom too! And then y'all wonder why I date losers? Which reminds me to tell you of something I made up:

Rutherford's Law of Inverse Attractions:
The amount that you are attracted to a person will be inversely proportional in how much he/she is attracted back to you.

In case I screwed up the math, here's what I meant: The more you are attracted to a person, the less that the person is attracted to you. And vice-versa. ESPECIALLY vice-versa.

Some Online Journal Writers (who I personally refer to as "journallers" to insure a distinction from reporters or feature writers) have this strange need to post their dirty laundry to a public forum like the Internet. However, at the same time they don't want people close to them to find this place out. It's like they're setting themselves up for the inevitable fall. Or perhaps they think they can get away with this so long as Online Journal Writing doesn't become widely "known."

Some of them may or may not even list their website with search engines. However, deep down they don't want their friends or family members to know they are there. Or they don't want complete strangers to BOTH read their journal AND meet them face to face in the real world.

It's like some of these Online Journal Writers aren't really living in the real world. Or rather, they're not thinking things through."

Links to other sites on the Web

Graphic Station (day/night bar, swearing, necklace, lightning, moon, phone)
Animation Grove (kissing frog)
SheriBerry Graphics (arrow, dreamcatcher)
Icon Bazaar (e-mail, gold frog)
The GiF Animation Bits (dancer)

Page last updated: June 1, 1998 (sigh).
I'd recommend checking out SpyGlass Webzine- there's some good fiction there- better than I could ever write.
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© 1997 jdrutherford@ucdavis.edu

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