September 28, 1998

The Monkey Chased the Weasel

Why was the monkey chasing the weasel? Was the weasel just being appropriate to his nature and had weaseled the monkey out of his life-savings in exchange for some time-share down in the Florida Everglades? The monkey, obviously a male, decides to take out his frustration through violence, and in this pre-Brady Bill era, buys a gun without a waiting period and pops the weasel.

Rest assured there are no three year-olds who analyze the song, "Pop goes the Weasel." However, once we enter in the cynicism of young adulthood, we begin to look at everything simple and innocent in childhood and twist it. Fairy tales become vehicles of violence and promotions of the female servitude. Cinderella is now evil.

We even do this to cartoons. Look at all the undertones we've assigned to Scooby Doo over the years. Velma is a lesbian. Fred and Daphne sneak off for sex. Shaggy is a stoner and deals out his *Scooby Snax*. Scrappy is the bestiality offspring of Scooby and Velma since he speaks such proper English. Only one word describes us: we're EVIL!!

What can I say? It's fun and makes us laugh, but whatever happened to that innocent child within us?