November 23, 1998
Who You Are
Have you ever forgotten who you are? No, not the bonk on the head, soap opera style amnesia, I mean forgotten some aspect of your life. I'm talking about some innocuous little characteristic like a love for gypsy music or a terrible aversion to watermelon. Everyone has some facet to themselves that while a part of them, does not overwhelmingly affect their day-to-day lives. You don't run into gypsy music very often in modern society, so it's not likely to constantly perk up your spirits.
Yet, it's still a part of you. I had forgotten one part of myself and just recently discovered it. I have always been fond of stories. I believe in storybook endings, the ones where every detail gets wrapped up sweetly in the end. It might not be a happy ending, though most stories do end this way, but the ending is satisfactory. You don't need anymore of the tale. The hero might ride off into the sunset, or the villain might escape in a Ko-Dan Armada escape pod. The story has ended for now.
There are many such tales, but the ones that always leave the mark on me are not what most people would expect. I just remembered this about me. On Saturday night, I watched some show called "Cupid." The whole idea is that Cupid now lives among us mortals trying to set people together. Well, he found this one couple, an out-of-work hockey player and a woman dying of heart disease and viewed them as a perfect match. After a rough start, the two have a really great night together that ends with her promising to tell him her secret (he doesn't know she's dying). Well, he dies in an auto accident, but as it turns out, his organ and tissue type is quite rare and miraculously matches hers. She gets a heart transplant and can live because he and her were a perfect match. Sappy, isn't it?
But I like that. . . sappy. The stories that end in almost sickening happiness make me smile. I don't smile. I just enjoy seeing how things can really turn out well. I believe it can happen in this world as well.
I had forgotten my love for the sappy. The past few months had been hard and I couldn't really find any optimism in things. Yet, by relearning how much the sappy makes me smile, things look a little brighter. Sure, it just might be a candle on a bright, sunny day, but that worked for Diogenes, so it should work for me.
Have you forgotten anything about yourself?