December 8, 1998
Son of Some Observations
Some people call me an asshole; I just consider myself profound.
Rent-control in heaven must work like this: If you want to, you can watch a funny television show that mocks some poor person. The catch is that this person is real, and the tv is actually a direct line-feed from the Earth. If you laugh, you're mocking that person and you get instantly end up in Hell.
If you like someone and you try to keep it secret, all your friends have some intimate connection to that person just to annoy you.
Islam spelled backwards is almost salami, or malaise. . . which sounds like mayonnaise… which doesn't go good with salami on sandwiches.
On windy days, leaves are blown around.
Despite doing a daily mailing list, I still am oblivious to the date.
People will go out of their way to avoid a man who lost his nose in an industrial accident, yet the Smiley Face is a beloved cultural icon.
Christmas carols provide the perfect ambience for a December night.