December 31, 1998
Creationists need not read this
Since last night's Diogenes was rather deep, I present now a delectable mental nosh that should refresh everyone's harried holiday harebrained-ness.
What if, at this moment, everyone just dropped dead? Why, I don't know. . . let's say some specific virus that only kills humans. Look, it doesn't matter. The question is what would all that we've done look like then?
Consider this, after so many years, perhaps millions, some form of life would evolve (now you understand the title) into sentience. Eventually, they would begin digging around and would discover the archeological remains of the long gone human race. This will be a site to behold. We've built immense buildings designed to survive everything nature can throw against them: floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, B-52's, etc. I mean, what social ramifications would an archeologist find out of the Empire State Building? Hopefully the new race will be octopuses or something with radically different genitalia. Otherwise, they would definitely find something Freudian in the phallicness of the skyscraper.
And what about cars and highways and military bases and junkyards? Most of these will still be around. This would be such a mystery. I mean. . . today's specialists have to piece together the past with just bone and pottery fragments. This future race would have so much more to work with. All I can say is weird. Just think about it, okay?