January 15, 1999
The Responsibility of Humans
I was told today that the only time a friend responds to these mailings is when he disagrees with one. Now, I don't condemn him for only choosing to berate my thoughts, but what gets to me is his comment on it: "probably something wrong with that." I agree, so whose fault is it?
It might be his, letting me get away scot-free. I take no responsibility and I learn nothing more than a brief remembrance of the experience that will barely etch out any effect on my future decisions. There is no lesson or chance for growth here. Nothing is accomplished.
Perhaps it is all my fault and I should surrender this mailing list to the wills of its readers in the hopes of no longer causing people to argue. Of course, I will be lying to myself and Diogenes' Lamp will be as bright on me as a black light poster is to Oedipus.
Maybe it's neither of our faults. Then, we don't have to do anything and we ignore any chance we might have for improving the situation.
This leaves us with one option: we are both responsible. This is where I wanted to get to with this. It is a habit of our modern age to blame our ills on others and to believe that someone else will handle the problems. I am just as guilty of this as anybody is, probably more so. I don't want to be this way and try to work on it.
I have come to find that there are three approaches to life. The first is to accept no responsibility. This just lets things worsen. The second is to take everything on myself. Everything is my fault. Suicide and an early grave are highly likely here. The final approach, the one I live by, is to assume responsibility for everything that happens in life, but to acknowledge I cannot do it alone. Both success and regret come in equal partners here.
This view on life is not easy, and I will never be a master of it. The secret to it to find that middle ground. Every time I find a fault to berate on, I should find a compliment nearby. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. It sounds like shit, but that's what the universe is. Good will never have ultimate triumph over evil, just a stalemate. I will be insulted and complimented by the same tongue. There's no way out of this, except perhaps to embrace it. If you find yourself leaning some direction, fight wind and gravity to right yourself. Do not leave it to the next generation, you have just the same amount of chances and opportunities to do something. Only by acting can change occur. I don't know if it is for good or better, but I'm willing to try.
So, the next time you want to insult something, throw a curve with a compliment. Also, feel free to bad mouth something you love. We all can do something. We are not limited except by what we place on ourselves.