January 17, 1999

I Need Your Help

Today, I became a father. My Turtle Chia Pet began to sprout today. Now that it has begun to live, I can no longer call it simply, "Chia Pet." However, choosing a name is an insurmountable task. Do I choose something beginning with 't' to complete the alliteration with turtle? Do I go for a pun like "Shelly?" Should it be historical? What about the gender? How do you tell the sex of a chia turtle? I'm too scared to look.

Any suggestions on a name?

Comments:

• my friend said that you should name your turtle Moses because "turtles mosey like molasses." I'm serious, those were her exact words. She said, though, that to avoid the problem of determining a sex of your chia turtle you should give it an androgenous name, at which point I asked if Moses was androgenous.
  -Erin

• i would name it richard, but then again, that's my answer to everything.
  -Jeff