February 12, 1999

A Sad way to Die

A man rushes into an emergency room, clutching his nose and screaming, "My nose is bleeding."

Some ridiculously over-tired intern who went to medical school because he thought Noah Wyle was cool on ER shoves one of those lighted scopes up the man's nostril, looks around, checks the other nostril, and then proclaims, "I don't see anything."

"My nose is bleeding!"

The intern calmly checks again and sternly says again, "I don't see anything. There's no blood or breakage in there. Even your sinuses are clear."

"I'm telling you my nose is bleeding!"

"Look, I know a hypochondriac when I see one--"

"--Dammit, then where is all this blood coming from!"

"Not from your nose, idiot!" screams the intern as he stomps off. A few minutes later, the man falls to the floor dead from loss of blood from where two wire-haired dachshunds had bitten off the bridge of his nose.