April 3, 1999

Resignation

At some point in life, we have to finally just stop and say, "This is who, what, where, why, and how I am. I accept this." At this point, we commit to a general path for life. No longer do we meander around the infinite possibilities in some mad pursuit of the ideal or the curiosity. Resigning is somewhat pessimistic way to describe this process, and many also call it acceptance.

It's important that we do this. If we truly can accomplish some deed in this world, we should focus our energy on that more than some impossible dream we have. We can still hobby ourselves with this flight of fancy, but we must accept that it's not as important as when compared to other things.

For me, these last two months especially have been filled with decisions that I know from the deepest wells of my being are right for the direction my life will take. I am comfortable with everything and somewhat proud. However, despite that I know I am doing well, every fiber of my being yearns to do something for no reason that reaches out to better something. I just want to do something because because. Strangely enough, I have resigned myself to doing just such a deed, perhaps two.