April 27, 1999
What did he do?
As everyone knows, it's always very difficult to decide what to do next after experiencing some really big event. Think about it; what would you do after winning eighty million dollars? Order a pizza? Or, would you follow what Superbowl winners do and go to Disneyland? Of course, the most interesting choices were those taken by Judas after his betrayal of Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. According to my records, here's what he did:
- Judas tried to give the money back, but the Romans refused to be taker-backers.
- Judas then had to exchange his money when he realized it was Canadian and was worth only 22 silver American.
- Judas then used some silver to chase away a few pesky werewolves.
- Judas amused several small children by pulling coins from their ears.
- Judas's subsequent dabbling in the stock market led to the devastating crash of 27 A.D.
- Judas threw a silver across the Potomac and became the first President.
- Judas went on to fund the first movie theater in Jerusalem, which offered every Wednesday a "Classics of the Silver Screen" movie marathon.
- Judas bought stock in the Gutenberg Printing Company.
- Judas decided to be a Good Samaritan and place change in expired parking meters. He was later arrested for obstructing justice.
- He went to Chuck E. Cheese's and whacked some gophers.