Jokes

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I have collected most of the cartoons, jokes and photographs that are displayed here by surfing the Net and from e-mail messages sent to me by my friends.

You are more than welcome to send me some new stuff.

If I like what you send, I will add it to my site, and I will even mention your name and web address if you would like me to!

E-mail me now if you want to contribute to my collection.

I really hope that you will enjoy your little tour. Have a ball!

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Funny photographs

Cartoons

Jokes

This is a true story from an Amoco Christmas party in Australia last year.
At a Christmas party in Melbourne last year the staff decided to pull a
practical joke on their boss who had a habit of playing serious practical
jokes on everyone else. When he went to the toilet, they went through his
wallet and found his Tats Lotto Ticket. Then, they wrote down his numbers
and called over the waitress to set up a little prank. She came back half
an hour later and asked if anyone wanted to know the night's Lotto numbers,
then proceeded to read them out loud before setting the numbers on the
table.
The boss looked at the numbers, then casually pulled out his from his
wallet and compared them. He became really silent, put his wallet back in
his jacket and sat down again, and checked the numbers, very carefully.
Then, he sculled his drink, stood up on his chair and shouted out to the
whole room, "I just want to let you all know something. I've been having an
affair with my secretary for months. I don't like any of you, and I have
hated working for this company. You can all go to Hell, cause I've just won
a shit-load of money, and I'm leaving|" End of job. End of marriage. End of
story.

Here is one for all the woman that keep telling those untrue
and discriminatory lies about us nice guys being male chauvinist pigs!

CAT WISDOM
____________

1. Cats do what they want, when they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play they want to be alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8. They're moody.
9. They leave hair everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts.

Conclusion: They're like little, tiny women in cheap fur coats.

Please don't read this if you are very easily offended
by jokes with a little red pepper on top!

A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a trolley bed by a lady in a white dress and brought to the corridor. Before they enter the room she leaves her behind the theatre door to go in and check whether everything is ready.
A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes the sheet away and starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to another man in a white coat. The second man comes over and does the same examinations.
When a third man starts examining her body so closely, she grows impatient and says: "All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?" The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: "I have no idea. We're just painting the corridor."

The following joke is positively dangerous
if you can't handle anything hotter than cold milk

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean, $200?"

The Humour Page
I really hope that you will enjoy your visit!	Mr Happy