| Role 1 Hi. I'm Chad. Nice to meet you. I'm new to the office so I don't really know many people yet. Chris seems to be a little bit of a mooch. I heard that Liz went to UCLA. I don't like people who went to UCLA. Bev was the only the only seasoned veteran who seemed to take an interest in us rookies. I think Bev would be great as the new manager. Sandy! I'm dieing to meet her! I guess I'm so afraid of rejection that I find it difficult to walk up to her and talk to her. |
| Role 2 Tony here. Honored to meet you. I pity the man who marries Sandy. All I heard her talk about was sexual discrimination, sexual harrassment, blah, blah, blah, as if that was all there was to life in Washington, or to anywhere else for that matter, for that matter. Can someone so out of touch with reality really survive in Washington? Then there’s that Bill, I wish he’d tone it down a bit. They say he’s slept with all the secretaries in the building and even some of the interns to boot. He’s going to give us all a bad name. |
| Role 3 I'm Bev. I work in the cubicle next to you. Nice to meet you. They couldn’t possibly choose Joe. He’s too much of a slob. His glasses were broken...I think they're still broken. He just doesn't take good care of himself. I caught him over by the coffee machine with his shirt tail hanging out. Lord god, we work in the White House, not McDonalds! I’ve even seen little bits of food on his mustache after lunch sometimes. He farts. He picks his nose. Bill? He's a little bit of a creep, always kissing up to the secretaries the way he does. But I guess that’s what it takes. Like my Dad always used to say, "Just got to do what it takes, whatever it takes." Yeah, good old dad. He plays golf with the president every Wednesday. He's a senator. |
| Role 4 Monica Someone in the White House is going to be promoted to Chief Photocopiest. Frankly, I hope it’s going to be me, but realistically Bill and Meg probably have a better chance than I do. I heard that Bill is a real flirt and is in with all the secretaries. Meg is the only African-American intern so there might be a little affirmative action working in her favor. When I met her at the party I got such a warm feeling from her. She was interested in my life and my future plans and that was the first time I had ever met her. |
| Role 5 I'm Hillary. Welcome on board. If Bill doesn’t win that job hands down, then I hope that Ronnie gets it because he has to retire pretty soon and then Bill will get it and by that time Bill and I will have tied the knot. If Ronnie got the position, it would be better than if Bev got it. Bev's always trying to make herself popular with all the new interns. She's kind of a showman...O...I mean showperson and pretty damn pretentious, if you ask me. Always talking about her father the senator. Then there's Meg, everyone's mother. I don't think anyone would object if she was chosen, but I actually think she'd turn it down if they offered it to her. She tries to stay out of the limelight as much as possible. |
| Role 6 Bernie here. I'm just kind of like a big empty bucket. I just listen. Go ahead...continue...you were saying? |
| Role 7 Hi. I'm Sally. I'm new. Joe? O, he seems way too overconfidant and egotistical for the menial job he holds here at the White House. You'd almost think, he thinks it's his house. The guy is seriously interested in going out with me. I can tell, but I'm not going to give him the time of day. Now Bill, on the other hand, he's going places, but he has that over-possessive soon to be wife of his. I find power to be soooo.....erotic. |
| Role 8 Name's Ronnie. If I can be of service, just let me know. (Ronnie's the senior man in the photocopy department. He's been there going on 30 years. He takes care of the photocopy machines just like they were his own sons. If someone talks to him, he always likes to change the topic to photocopy machines. I think he's been possessed by one of them, or by something. He also thinks that photocopy machines have an important role to play in national, even international politics and he can't seem to take a hint when someone has had enough talk about photocopy machines.) |
| Role 9 I'm Frank. Nice to meet you. Nancy sure is one hot babe. I tried my best to impress her but she didn't seem to respond. She must have gone to an all girl's school, she seems uncomfortable around men. I sure have a hard time relating to Chris. He seems to be in another world full of books and papers that I sure have never read. All the women seem to like him, I guess because he's tall and kind of looks like Steven Segal. He's the only guy at the White House with a pony tail. |
| Role 10 Nice to meet you! Joe's the name, Joe Smith. (Shakes your hand vigorously). What's your sign? Ah...No, just kidding! Hah,hah,hah... I'd never ask a dworky thing like that. We work at the right house... I mean White House, right? Argh... Center of the free world. That's why I think Bill's going to get his ass kicked if he tries to pick up one more secretary. The guy has absolutely no sense of shame. And his soon to be wife Hillary? How can she put up with it all? I have no idea. Did you see that new gal...what's her name?...Sally, right, Sally (or was it Sandy?)...she's gorgeous. Just like Grace Kelly in Rear Window. We better keep Bill away from the photocopy room. |
| Role 11 Hi. I'm Meg. Welcome to the photocopy department. Don't stare into any of the machines around here too long or you'll go blind like good ole Bev over there, blind as a bat. Don't tell her I told you, ok? She's kind of self-conscious about it. I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings. So, what part of the country do come from? Myself? Los Angeles, UCLA, class of '86. And what about yourself? O, I see, you'd rather not say...that's ok. You don't talk much do you? Ah, you got a cold and lost your voice, I see. Well, I think I got to make a quick pitstop in the little girl's room, see you. |
| Role 12 Hi. I'm Bill, Bill Pleasant-tongue, whoops, I mean Preston. Boy, that was embarrassing. I heard Monica actually thinks she has a chance to get the Chief Photocopiest position. Hah! Some people sure know how to lie to themselves. I've already bagged the job. It's who you know around here, not what you do. Bev can keep on building her power base among all the new recruits, but it won't do her a bit of good. If the President...the big man upstairs...hears your name enough times, he's going to remember you, and I have the whole secretary pool repeating my name over and over again all day long like a mantra. That's where my support base is. Now, let's see...I'll definitely have to put Sandy on my To Do List. |
| Role 13 I'm Chris. I’d love to see Bev get the managerial position that's opening up. She always has a positive attitude and is never going to pull any power trip on us. O...also, when she gets drunk she treats everyone to round after round of free beer. Chad seems like kind of a freeloader. He woofed down all that free beer before I even had a chance to take a sip from mine. |
| Role 14 Hi, I'm Nancy. I just joined the White House staff, so I don’t know many people yet. I sure didn’t hit it off with Frank. He seems stuck-up. He never stops talking about all the things he's done and all the things he plans to do in the future. If he keeps it up, he'll never go anywhere. Chris seems like too much of an intellectual. When he starts talking about economic theory I lose him. But he’s so handsome, I just wish he’d lighten up a bit. Bev’s father is a senator, so she's always name-dropping, yuck! |
| Role 15 Hi. I'm Sandy. I'm new in town, so I don’t know many people yet. I'm already in love with Frank. He's sooo handsome. If he was running for president I’d vote for him anyday. I hit it off really well with Nancy. We both come from L.A. and went to U.S.C.. Tony is definitely someone to avoid. He seems a little old-fashioned and seems to have a chip on his shoulder about women. The way he was talking to Nancy it seemed he was about ready to bomb an abortion clinic or something. |
| Role 16 Hi. I'm Liz. I'm new in town, so I don’t know many people yet. You went to U.S.C? What a coincidence! I did too! I heard that Sandy and Nancy also went there. I'm kind of embarrassed to be here, a photocopiest and I have a degree in political science. I was ranked second in my class. My father is president of the university. I guess it's not such a bad job. It is the White House and there are a lot of handsome guys around here. Tony seems like someone who will go places. He's so confident and sure of himself. |