News of her desire to file for divorce floored me, as I'm sure it would anyone who thinks they have a stable marriage.  I believed, and still do, that our marriage was solid, and built to last a lifetime.  Sure, we had the typical problems involved in most marriages -- never enough money, me procrastinating on the never ending "honey-do" list, stagnation, and so on.

Our marriage was violence free and I didn't go out partying with the boyz, nor did she with the girlz.  Okay, there were the occasions when I'd stop in at the favorite Friday morning watering hole to drink a few beers after work.  This never interferred with my family life though, seeing as how the wife and my little girl would sleep in most days.

I don't know, maybe it's because the divorce is still so fresh in my mind, and all the accompanying baggage that goes with a divorce, that makes me such an unhappy individual to this day.  The bitterness, the hate, and the bruised ego is what I'm living with each and every day.

Today, and probably many Valentine's Days to come, will be an unhappy and depressing day for me.  Though never a romantic in the first place, future V days are sure to bring back a flood of bad feelings; it will be nearly impossible NOT to associate V day with my failed marriage.

Some days I feel like running away, shucking all responsibilities concerning my three-year-old daughter, including any and all visitations.  This would eliminate all the necessary contact with my ex-wife that I have to endure while picking up or dropping off the little one.  Of course, that idea isn't an option as I could NEVER abandon my little girl, the only bright spot in my life, whatever the price emotionally that I must pay.

I will trudge on with my life, but there HAS to be some changes made to combat this emptiness. . .

Happy Valentine's Day